


That's My Cause

by Seekingtheoblivion



Series: I Know It's My Destiny [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: 2 tsp of fluff, Alcohol, Anxiety, DJ!Dave, Depression, Education, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, I promise!, M/M, Nerds in Love, Pokemon GO - Freeform, PokemonGoStuck, Suicidal Thoughts, The Full Sex, Weddings, a dash of crack, a pinch of humor, after baking for five minutes take out of the oven and add 1/2 cup porn, clubs, eventual angst, excessive amounts of grading papers, hoo boy where do i even start, rosemary is a multiverse constant, sorry guys this is getting darker than anticipated, suicide ideation, teacher!karkat, thats still gonna be a thing in this fic, weird teacher stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-07-27 01:06:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7597351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seekingtheoblivion/pseuds/Seekingtheoblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set one year after Here We Pokemon Go Again.</p><p>Dave and Karkat are happily living together. Weird and awkward situations abound, because they are weird and awkward dorks.</p><p>Then plot stuff happens and there is angst and unhappiness. Please read the tags for potential triggers.</p><p>Eventual happy ending, I promise!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One year later...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies! 
> 
> These nerds just wouldn't leave my head. :) I have a whole fun, angsty plot for them, but first we need to get through some shenanagins! Pokemon go is still going to be a thing that they do, but i'm thinking it won't be AS much as in the first one. I'm figuring it out as I go. as i pokemon go. >;]
> 
> FYI i've already written some of the other adventures they are going to have, and they are just as weird as karkat finding a mr. mime in the club from pt 1. so hopefully thats your thing as much as it is mine. also, i'll eventually write smut into this but I'll warn you at the beginning of the chapter in case that is not your thing.
> 
> anyways, I love you all and your comments/kudos/etc give me life. thank you so much for being as great as you are. :)

“Dave. There are literally penises everywhere. On the tables, in the books. Scratched on the walls. I counted 6 in the boys’ bathroom yesterday. 6, Dave.”

“Dude.”

“And they are all so terrible. No artistic rendering at all.”

“Karkat.“

“I think I’m going crazy, Dave. There are dicks everywhere. I swear to god, if I find another fucking cartoon dick in my classroom I am going set myself on fire and let the flames consume those grisly images from my brain as my gray matter first melts inside my skull, then burns with the rest of me."

Karkat sighed. "It’ll be so peaceful, Dave.”

“Karkat, sit down.” 

Karkat had started pacing and didn’t even realize it. His hands were tangled in his hair. God, he wanted a drink. He sat down on the couch next to Dave, who ran his hand soothingly up and down Karkat’s back. He immediately relaxed into Dave’s touch.

“Babe, you wanna go to Lakeside and camp until we get, like, 500 ultra balls?” Dave murmured.

Karkat sat up, excited, then slumped deep into the couch. “I have 130 vocab quizzes to grade.” 

“Can they wait?” 

Karkat frowned. “You know I don’t like to get behind. It gets too overwhelming.”

“Looks to me like you are kinda overwhelmed right now.” Dave said, softly, as if he knew that if he pushed too far, Karkat would snap.

“….yeah.” Karkat leaned into Dave, needing the contact.

“Okay, how about this. You do your quizzes. You don’t fall behind. And then this weekend, after sleeping in and having a relaxing lazy day, you come out with me to my gig Saturday night. We’ll come back here and have ridiculously hot sex. Then on Sunday, if you have any work to do, you can bring it with you to the park and I will be on Pokestop patrol for the both of us. Sound good?”

Karkat tilted his face up and kissed Dave. “You are the fucking best.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, you insufferable dickblister.” He paused and sighed. “Thank you.”

Snuggling deeper into Dave, Karkat reveled in the last few moments before he needed to be productive. “So how was your day?”

“It was solid. Worked on a couple mixes. I can put them on if you wanna listen to them while you grade?” Even now, after over a year of dating and god knows how long of slowly becoming more popular at DJing, Dave was shy about sharing his unreleased mixes with Karkat.

Karkat was comfortable in the knowledge that Dave would never know how fucking adorable Karkat found that to be.

“Fuck yeah. Gimme something to listen to other than the horrendous sloshing of the liquified mush inside my own brain.”

Dave’s lips tilted up. “Aight, one sweet aural orgasm coming right up.”

Karkat pushed Dave off the couch and smacked his ass. “You better fucking deliver.”

Dave laughed and stood up. “You got it, Kitkat.” He wondered over to his laptop and fiddled with it for a moment.

Karkat grabbed a red Flare pen and a stack of papers from the coffee table. With a sigh, he got to work.

\---

Saturday arrived and Karkat had managed to get everything he needed to do for work completed ahead of time. They decided to switch their weekend plans and go Pokeball hunting Saturday and sleep off hangovers on Sunday.

They had been out walking for a while when Karkat stopped mid-step, causing Dave to run into him.

“Oh Goddamnit! Not again!” Karkat groaned. 

This was the fifth pokestop they tried that Karkat saw one of his current or former students. He absolutely refused to camp at one with them in it. And god forbid they had a lure. Karkat would pretty much have to run away due to how super fucking creepy that felt. Karkat knew he was being bitter, but he was playing pokemon before these kids were even born! Sometimes he wished he could kick them out of the stops, but did actually realize that he couldn’t tell them what to do outside of school. The idea grated at him.

Temporarily sucking up his irritation, Karkat steeled himself and walked into range of the pokestop.

“Hey, Mr. Vantas!” A group of kids called out and waved at him. 

Dave snorted. “Dude, can we go anywhere without running into your students?”

Reluctantly slipping into teacher mode into his head, he went to greet them. Glancing behind, he made sure Dave was dutifully trailing behind him.

“Hi Matthew. Kalee…Kalee’s friend. You three enjoying your weekend?” Damn but if Karkat wasn’t good at code-switching.

“Yeah!” Kalee responded, excited. “We all decided to get, like, 64 ounce slushies and stay here all day defending the Pokemon gym nearby!” She held up her phone and showed Karkat her Jolteon she’d left at the gym. Karkat noticed that the gym was blue.

“I’d congratulate you on taking over the gym, but I see that it is blue. Are you all Mystics?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Matthew nodded. “Mystics for life, Mr. V.” 

Dave interjected himself into the conversation. “You got some smart students over here. They know how to represent. Mystics for life.” He offered his fist to bump to the group. Matthew looked proud and the girls giggled at each other. Karkat sometimes forgot that other people thought that Dave was actually cool.

“Oh, no. No, no, no. I’m sorry, kids, but you are going to have to transfer to Mrs. Wilson’s class now, and you know she has that creepy life-size cardboard cutout of Elvis.” He held his fist over his chest dramatically, and pretended to wipe a tear with his other hand. “Team Instinct now. Team Instinct forever.”

They all laughed. Though these students were nice, and he was glad they weren’t up to anything stupid or dangerous, Karkat was grumpy and just wanted to hang out with Dave. 

“Okay, you kids have a good rest of your weekend. Please eat something at least approximately related to real food today.” 

“Bye, Mr. Vantas!” Matthew and Kalee chorused, while their friend just waved. Karkat gave a small wave back and started to walk away, Dave following behind.

“Okay,” Dave began, “Not to sound sentimental and mushy like you after a 48 hour romcom marathon, but I fucking love seeing you interact with your students. You’re actually, like nice and mature and shit.”

Karkat glanced around to make sure they were out of earshot, then looked at Dave, eyebrows practically disappearing into his hair. “First off, fuck you. I’m nice and mature 110% of the fucking time. Second, did you not just hear me tell those kids to transfer out of my class due to a fucking Pokemon team?”

Dave lifted a shoulder. “Yeah, but they seemed like nice kids and they knew you didn’t mean it.” 

Karkat snorted. “Whatever.”

They walked quietly for a few minutes until they reached the bus stop. Karkat realized he didn’t know where they were going and he figured Dave didn’t either. “So since my idea bombed like a nuclear warhead dropped in the Pacific for testing, you get to decide what we do until we go to your thing tonight.” 

Dave tapped his chin while he thought. Then as the bus pulled up he brightened. “Dude. Three words. Breakfast. For. Dinner. We’re gonna have to stop at the store though, because of bacon reasons.”

They found a couple of open seats and sat down. Karkat nodded sagely, then gave Dave a side-eye. “Can we make chocolate chip pancakes, too?”

“Nah.” Karkat faced Dave fully and opened his mouth to (loudly) protest, but Dave held up finger. “We’re gonna make ‘better than a week spent at an all-inclusive resort in the Bahamas and you’ve been getting shitfaced all day and you have eaten at least three pizzas and a lobster roll and you are probably gonna puke from all the awesome’ chocolate chip pancakes.”

Karkat leaned against Dave, unable to contain his grin. “You are such a dork.”

Dave gently elbowed Karkat. “You like it.”

“Just for that I get extra chocolate chips.”

Dave tilted his sunglasses down so Karkat could see him roll his eyes. “Like I wasn’t gonna make yours more chocolate than pancake anyways. At this rate there’s just going to be a burnt mass of congealed chocolate with maybe like half a spoonful of batter instead of an actual pancake.”

Karkat huffed. “Stop exaggerating. There’s a full spoonful of batter in there at least.”

Dave kissed Karkat on the forehead. “You are ridiculous. I love you so much.”

Like he always did when Dave was being sincere, Karkat blushed. “I love you too.”

Dave poked Karkat’s flushed cheek. “Speaking of blushing maidens...” 

“Aaaaand now its gone. My love for you has mysteriously disappeared, like a boat in the Bermuda triangle, never to be found again.” Karkat waved his hands around for emphasis. Dave ignored him.

“ANYways, did you invite any of your bffsies to keep your lonesome self company while I’m up rockin’ everyone’s mind like a geodude on the rampage?”

Karkat snorted. “A geodude, really? You aren’t going to be rocking anyone’s minds like that.”

Dave’s shoulders hunched an inch. “Stfu, it was the first rock pokemon that came to mind.”

“You seem almost _curled_ in a defensive manner, Dave.”

Dave visibly cringed. “No. No puns. I forbid it.”

“Okay, I’ll _tackle_ the urge.”

“Karkat…” Dave said warningly.

Karkat’s teeth shined bright through his shit-eating grin. “Aw, Dave. Don’t _self-destruct_ now. I’d have to _rollout_ a serious _magnitude_ of emotion. There’d probably be an _earthquake_.”  
“That’s it, I’m leaving. Driver, stop the bus.” Dave made to stand up. Karkat was about to pull him back down when he realized they were almost at their stop.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.” Karkat held his hands up in surrender, grin still on his face. He fucking loved getting under Dave's skin. The bus stopped and they both made for the exit.

“Good. Puns make the insides of my ears itch.”

“That’s pretty weird, Dave.”

“You’re pretty weird.” Dave responded, lamely.

Karkat, still smiling, rose his eyebrows. Dave pretended not to see and gestured at the looming store. 

“Last one to the refrigerated section does the dishes.” With that, he started to sprint.

Cursing and grinning like his life depended on it, Karkat chased after.

\---

After they had gotten everything they needed at the grocery store (the race ended in a tie after Karkat jumped on Dave’s back to slow him down, earning the pair more than a few dirty looks), they headed back to their apartment.

Dave took over making the pancakes and Karkat did the bacon and eggs. The domesticity of the evening filled Karkat with a gentle happiness. By the time they were done cleaning up, they needed to get ready to go out.

After he was done in the shower, Karkat pulled on a black Henley and a pair of chinos (both the items and the knowledge of what they were called were thanks to Kanaya). He figured they made him look a little more put-together than usual and hoped that Dave would be pleased at his effort. It really had been awhile since Karkat had come to one of Dave’s shows. He had just gotten so swept up in the school year that he hadn’t even thought of going out. Feeling guilty at neglecting Dave, Karkat resolved to show him just how much he appreciated him when they got back.

Dave, who had showered after Karkat, stepped out of the bathroom wearing only his boxers and gave Karkat a slow once-over. 

“Damn, Karkat. You look better than a piece of birthday cake with all the leftover icing painstakingly scraped up and piled on top. There’s more icing than cake and fuck if that isn’t the best thing ever.”

Karkat walked over to Dave, eyes half lidded, and put his arms around his bare shoulders, lightly trailing his fingers down the back of Dave’s neck. “Mmm. Maybe later you can have a taste.”

Dave shivered and wrapped his arms tight around Karkat’s waist. His voice lowered to a growl. “What if I want one now?” 

Karkat had to shove his growing desire down. He sighed and stepped back out of Dave’s arms. “Then you’d be late for work.”

Dave groaned and ran a hand through his damp hair. “Ugh. Fine. But when we get back…”

“When we get back, I’ll make it worth the wait.”


	2. Jealous? Who's jealous? Certainly not me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains Booze and Smut!  
> *If you dont like the porny bits, stop reading when Dave asks Karkat “You ready to go?”*
> 
> also, I love all of you and your comments/kudos. you all fill me with joy! :)
> 
> EDIT: I added like 300 words at the end of the porny section, sorry if you've already read it!
> 
>  
> 
> ty to The_Onion_Wanton for the pick-up line idea! =P (+ sry for karkles insulting it!)

Dave and Karkat had gotten to the club with several minutes to spare. Dave was booked again at Duodecim Angelus and Karkat was kind of excited to be back. When they got inside, they headed to the bar and grabbed a couple of drinks before Dave went on. 

Dave took a sip of his beer before turning to Karkat. “Yo I completely forgot. Did you say if you had invited anyone else to hang out with while I’m working?”

Karkat ducked his head and looked up at Dave through his lashes. “No. I thought today was kind of our day. I mean, I obviously know that you are going to be busy and not able to babysit my ass, but…”

Karkat shrugged, then glanced at his phone.

“Don’t you need to get ready?”

Dave ran a hand through his hair. “Shit. Yeah. But you’ll be okay, right?”

Karkat nodded and pushed lightly at Dave. “I’ll be fine on my own, dumbass. Now get to work.”

Dave gave a lopsided grin. “Love you too, babe.” He turned and left.

Karkat looked back to his drink and sighed. As usual, his current self was paying for the poor decision makings skills of his past self. Karkat was tempted to give in and text his friends to come out, but figured he should stick to his decision. He shit the bed, now it was time to lay in it. 

Karkat looked around the bar. Was it his imagination or was it way more packed than the last time he was here, what, 6 months ago? He gave an internal shrug and took a sip of his drink. He didn’t want to get too drunk, but Karkat figured that one way to pass the time would be to get tipsy enough that he would be able to dance by himself to Dave’s music.

He swiveled on his bar stool when Dave went on. Dave’s hair flashed under the colored lights, making him look almost ethereal. He had a little pleased smirk on that he often got while he was mixing. Looking at him now, Karkat could see why people thought Dave was cool. He looked so good like this. He looked…he looked like a risk, like the top of a rollercoaster just as you were about to fall. He was _breathtaking_.

Karkat’s heart squeezed inside his chest. He knew he was a giant gaping asshole and he was lucky that Dave put up with him. He thought back to a year ago when he couldn’t fathom how this relationship would work out. He still wasn’t completely sure, but he was so _so_ glad that it did.

He relaxed in his seat and continued to watch Dave. Before he knew it his drink was empty so he turned around to order another one. While he was waiting, a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Excuse me, sorry, but you look so familiar! Do I know you?”

Karkat looked over to where the voice was coming from. It was from a pretty blonde woman who looked to be around his age. She did look vaguely familiar, but Karkat couldn’t place her.

He panicked internally for a few seconds. “Um…maybe? What’s your name?”

She smiled. “I’m Sadie.” She gestured at her friend. “And this is Kara.” 

They sat down in the empty barstools by Karkat. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “We work at Northside Elementary. Do you work in the district?”

Karkat sat up, he tried to be careful whenever he met someone he didn’t really know from work, just in case. “Yeah, I work at the middle school. Makes sense why you look familiar. Probably saw you at a meeting or something.”

“Yeah!” Sadie grinned. “God bless you for working in the middle school. You must need a drink! What are you having?”

Karkat deliberated. To mooch or not to mooch. That is the question.

Though not a difficult one. To mooch it is. 

“You don’t need to, but I’m having…” Karkat thought about it. Did he dare?

“…Sex on the beach.” He did.

Sadie giggled. “Oooh we can do it on the table too!” 

Her friend hit her shoulder. “Sadie!!”

Karkat froze. What?

“What?”

She continued laughing. “Sorry, sorry! I’ve always wanted to use that one and you gave me the perfect opportunity. I just had to take it.”

Karkat rose an eyebrow. “That was fucking terrible. I think I deserve my drink for having to listen to that.”

The girls both laughed. “ _Coming_ right up.” Sadie winked.

“For an elementary teacher, you sure have a dirty sense of humor. I thought you guys were all supposed to be pure-hearted cinnamon rolls.”

Kara snorted and leaned over. “Oh, the stories we could tell you.”

Karkat was at a loss. “Huh.”

Sadie got the bartender’s attention and spoke to them in a low voice. Karkat looked back up at Dave. In the time he had been talking, Dave had gotten surrounded by a group of women dancing up close to him. The inside of Karkat’s skin started itching. He wasn’t going to be a jealous prick. He wasn’t.

He wondered if it was like this every time Dave worked. Why didn’t Dave say anything? Was Karkat just supposed to know that happened?

He did, Karkat supposed ruefully. It was part of how he acted when he fell for Dave in the first place.

Kind of sad and filled with not a little self-hatred, Karkat turned back towards the bar.

A line of shots and a bright, fruity drink greeted him.

He turned to look at the girls questioningly. 

The blonde grinned. “We want to have fun tonight and decided you need to join us.” She hesitated for a moment and bit her lip. “Uh, I mean, if you aren’t here with anyone or anything?” 

“Oh.” Karkat responded lamely. “I’m here with the DJ, actually.”

She brightened. “That’s so cool! We see him playing all the time!” She ducked her head and looked up at Karkat. “We never see you out though.”

He shrugged. “I don’t get out much. Especially during the school year. Dave insisted I come out tonight, though I don’t think he meant for me to be sitting alone at the bar.”

Sadie swatted his arm. “You’re not alone anymore, buster! Come on, let’s do our shots!”

They clinked shot glasses and each downed three shots in quick succession. Karkat spluttered and gagged his way through them.

“Oh my god. What was in these? Gasoline mixed with Lysol?”

Kara laughed. “No, Sadie has a special shot she likes to get. They will get you even more fucked up than you’d expect!”

“How will it get me more fucked up than a normal shot?” Karkat asked, grimacing. The fucking taste was still coating his tongue. Ugh.

Sadie tapped her nose and winked.

Karkat literally had no idea what that meant. 

He took a sip of what he supposed was Sex on the Beach. It tasted…really fucking good. Sweet and fruity. He couldn’t even taste the alcohol. Karkat decided that they were his new favorite drink. Contented with his choice, he looked down at the line of empty glasses on the counter. How much had these girls already spent on drinks? He shuddered thinking about it. 

Karkat leaned over to Sadie so she could hear him. “Thanks for the drinks. You didn’t have to.”

She took a sip of her drink. It looked like she got the same thing as him. “No worries! You probably didn’t notice, but ladies get cheap drinks tonight so it’s not that big of a deal!”

He nodded. “So what grade is it that you guys teach?”

Sadie hummed. “We both teach 4th grade. It is pretty fun! What subject do you teach?”

“7th Grade Language Arts. It has it’s moments.”

Kara set her elbow on the table. “I bet those kids can be pretty crazy, huh?”

Karkat laughed. “You have no idea.”

Sadie nudged his arm. “Then tell us! What are some funny stories? You must have a lot!”

Karkat grinned and stretched out his arms and cracked his knuckles. “You ladies might want to order some more drinks, because this is going to take awhile.”

\---

The girls and Karkat had traded weird school stories back and forth and drank more alcohol than Karkat had even seen in the last year. Sitting up and then almost falling off his chair, Karkat realized he still hadn’t told one of his favorite stories.

He held up his hands. “Guys. Guys, I got one more. So there was this one time I was in the middle of teaching and I was all, does anyone know what an onomatopoeia is?’ and this kid stands up and ina fuckin’ high pitched voice this kid goes _‘Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus_ and on and on. I just kinda stood there. Like, what? Lil guy went through the whole damn ex-exorskism, bleh, EXORCISM ina dead silen’ classroom. After like five minutes of fuckin’ creepy quiet, I jus’ kina started talking about figurative language like nbd.”

The girls giggled. Karkat was proud of himself. He had forgotten how social and friendly he was after a few drinks and was happy that he was making new friends. 

Suddenly, Karkat felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. He blurrily squinted at the arm, affronted.”’Scuse you asshole, whaddayu think your doin’?“ 

“Hey, babe.“ It was Dave. He raised both his eyebrows over his shades and almost imperceptibly squeezed his arm around Karkat’s shoulder. “When you said you’d be fine on your own, I didn’t think you’d be makin’ friends with everyone here.”

“DAAAVE! Hi Dave!” Karkat turned in Dave’s arms and gave him an off-balance hug. He faced the girls he was talking to. “Guys, this is my Dave. Dave, this is, uh, Katie, and umm Sarah?”

The blond one giggled and poked Karkat’s arm. “Sadie and Kara, but you were close!”

Dave nodded, his arm still tight around Karkat. “’Sup.”

Karkat leaned into Dave’s arm. “Daaave, aren’t you supposed to be….” Karkat made a vague gesture towards the DJ booth.  
“Yeah, dude. I just needed a quick break and I wanted to check on you. I’ve still got like an hour left. I don’t think you should be drinking anymore. How are you already so drunk?”

“Mmm. You were surrounded by all these beautiful women and I got sad.” Dave winced.

“And my new friends kept buying me drinks!” Karkat was glad Dave still had his arm around him. Dave was so warm. He was enjoying the contact when he noticed that the floor was starting to sway.

Maybe Dave was right. “Okay, Dave. You’re right. Ima sober up. Like a rock.”

Sadie, who was apparently listening in to their conversation, giggled.

Dave’s eyebrow rose, and he whispered into Karkat’s ear. “Uh, Karkat do these girls know you are taken? Like, I know you wouldn’t purposefully lead them on, but…”

“Nooo Dave, I told them I was with you and they were nice and kept me company while you were working!” Karkat patted Dave’s face.

“Right. I’m going to get you some water.” Dave waved at a bartender and ordered a couple of glasses of water. They brought them over. “Okay Karkat, I need to get back to work, but I want you to drink both of these and maybe at least one more before I am done. Alright?”

Karkat nodded and waved at Dave, even though he hadn’t left yet. Dave gave him a peck on the lips then headed back to the booth.

“Oooooh!” Sadie exclaimed as soon as Dave was gone.

“Whats’it?” Karkat grabbed a water then turned to her.

“When you said you were with the DJ, you meant _with_ him. Like you’re a couple.”

Karkat nodded slowly. “Yeah, Dave’s my boyfriend.” Then he grimaced. Dave was right again. He’d have to apologize to him later. “Uh, I guess I shoulda made that clearer.”

She shrugged ruefully. “Yeah that’s okay. It was still fun talking to you!”

Karkat was relieved at the lack of a hostile response. He patted her shoulder. “Same. You should probably drink some water too if you don’t want a massive hangover. You drank more than a, uh, a fuckin' camel dying of thirst in the middle of the Sahara.”

Sadie smiled. “Kara and I usually hit up a diner after we go out and eat a huge greasy breakfast. Haven’t had a hangover yet after doing that.” She paused. “You guys can come if you want.”

“Thanks, but I think we’re just gonna head home when he’s done. Already this is the latest I’ve been up, in, fuck, months. I’m gonna pass the fuck out as soon as I get home. The bed and I will become one and no one will be able to tear me from its tender embrace.” God, but if he didn’t sound like Dave right now.

“Hah, yeah I get that!” She replied. They sat without talking for a few minutes.

Sadie stood up. “I think I’m gonna get Kara to come dance with me. It was nice talking to you!”

Karkat nodded. “I’m sure I’ll see you at the next district-wide meeting.”

“You bet. Bye, Karkat!” She waved and left.

He understood why she left so abruptly, but still kind of felt like a jerk. Alone once more, Karkat decided to follow Dave’s orders and drink his water. Once he downed both of them, he got up to use the restroom. He looked up at Dave on his way and saw that he was still surrounded by a bunch of women. Watching them dance suggestively by Dave gave Karkat an idea. He just hoped that Dave would like it.

\---

Karkat killed the rest of the time waiting by drinking a lot of water and getting a bit more sober. He was watching for when Dave got finished, and when he did, Karkat was waiting nearby. 

Dave saw Karkat waiting and came over. “Hey Karkat. You ready to go?”

Karkat stepped close to Dave without touching him. He bit his lip and gave Dave a slow once over, then met Dave’s eyes, which had gone half-lidded. “You’ve been driving me crazy. All night I’ve been watching you with those women. They were so…” He deliberately pressed his body against Dave’s and whispered.” _desperate_ for you.” 

Karkat lightly ground his hips against Dave’s, making him shudder. “I think you need a reminder of who you are going home with tonight.” He grabbed Dave’s hand and pulled him to the bathroom. Dave almost tripped over himself in his haste to follow Karkat. Karkat made sure the bathroom was empty and led Dave inside and locked the door behind them.

Dave stood stock still, watching Karkat with his lips parted in anticipation. Karkat stalked forward, pushing Dave against the bathroom wall. Karkat leaned in and pressed his lips against Dave’s, whose mouth parted eagerly for him. Karkat deepened the kiss, fucking Dave’s mouth with his tongue. Dave moaned against him.

“Watching you tonight.” Karkat bit Dave’s lip. “God, Dave. You are so beautiful. So perfect. And you are _mine_.” Dave tried to bite back a groan, and buried his head in Karkat’s neck when he couldn’t.

“Mmph..Karkat…” He grabbed onto Karkat’s shoulders and pressed his hips against Karkat’s.

Karkat shoved his leg between Dave’s and let him grind against it. His mouth moved down to Dave’s neck, nipping lightly, making sure not to leave any marks where people could see them. Karkat tugged on Dave’s shirt, letting his hands wander around Dave’s bare torso. Karkat released his mouth from Dave’s neck, and knelt down in front of him. He looked up at Dave. He was watching Karkat hungrily.

“Dave.” Karkat lowered his voice to a growl. “When we get home. _I am going to fuck you into the mattress._ ”

Dave stuck a fist in his mouth to bite down on another moan. 

Karkat smirked and unzipped Dave’s pants and pulled them and his boxers down. Dave’s cock sprung free. He was already hard. Making sure Dave was watching, Karkat licked his lips and leaned down. He licked a bold stripe from the base to the tip. 

Dave was practically vibrating. “Goddamnit Karkat, you are going to kill me.”

Karkat responded by grabbing the base of Dave’s dick and taking the head into his mouth. He sucked, hollowing his cheeks since he knew Dave liked the visual. He heard muffled cursing above him and took as much into his mouth as he could, using his hand to stroke the rest. With his other hand he lightly grabbed Dave’s balls, teasing them gently. 

When they started to pull up, Karkat increased his pace. He looked up at Dave, and Dave came, gripping Karkat’s shoulders tightly and pulsing into Karkat’s mouth with Karkat’s name on his lips. Karkat swallowed quickly and gently released Dave from his mouth. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and stood up, knees creaking. 

Dave slumped into him, panting. “Holy shit, Karkat. That was amazing. You are amazing. Oh god, I love you.”

Karkat held Dave until he got his breath back, then went to the sink and rinsed his mouth out and washed his hands. When he was done, he went back to Dave and hugged him tightly. “I love you, Dave.”

Dave hugged him back for a moment, then lightly pushed him away. “Let’s go home.”

Karkat nodded and let Dave take him home.

\---

Karkat woke up next to Dave, whose limbs were sprawled all over Karkat like a particularly clingy 4-limbed octopus.

A quadropus?

Karkat thought about the previous night and felt guilt worm it’s way into his gut. When Dave woke up Karkat would have to talk to him about it. Karkat eyes began to drift shut again but opened when he felt Dave stir around him. 

“Mmm. Morning, babe.”

“Dave…?” 

“Yeah?”

“Was..was it okay what I did last night? Back at Duodecim?”

“Dude, if it was anymore okay I’d be fuckin’ blastin’ off to space like a goddamn rocket.” He shuffled so he could look Karkat in the eyes. “You know I’d tell you if I didn’t like something. You know I would.” He reached up and tried to run a hand through Karkat’s messy hair, but his fingers got caught in the tangles. “Plus, you acting like that is like my biggest kink. Good job on finding it. You are the best. It is you.”

Karkat huffed. “I still should’ve asked you about it before. I mean, I knew you like me taking control, but I should’ve asked before doing it at somewhere where you work.”

Dave shrugged. “Yeah, I get that. But I have a feeling that you didn’t know you were going to do it until after you sobered up, right?”

Karkat nodded.

“And Karkat. At no point was I worried. I trust you.”

Karkat pressed his face into Dave’s neck for a moment then leaned back. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Karkat.” Dave said warningly.

“Right, sorry. I love you, Dave.”

“I love you too. Now go back to sleep. It’s too early to be conscious.”

Karkat turned around so Dave was spooning him. With Dave’s warmth cocooning him and the guilt lifted from his shoulders, Karkat drifted back to sleep


	3. Pokemon Karaoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, i wish i could say i was drunk while writing this chapter, but i wasn't.
> 
> this chapter is 5% plot and 95% grade a baloney/shenanagins
> 
> that being said, all of the lyrics that the gang uses are from Pokemon: Indigo League.
> 
>  
> 
> good luck and god speed

A couple of weeks later, Karkat had yet again brought home a stack of papers to grade and was attempting to get them done before the weekend.

“Holy shit she was being serious.” Karkat was staring at a student’s paper in his hand with a look of disbelief.

“Hmm. What?” Dave was surfing through channels trying to find something that wouldn’t distract Karkat from his work.

“My god, I can hardly believe it.” Karkat started laughing. His body shook and tears started to trickle down his face. The laughter grew an edge of hysteria to it.

“Karkat, what is it?” Dave set down the remote and faced Karkat with a raised eyebrow.

“Dave, one of my students wrote a legend about the origin of garbage cans. She wrote, in the most basic form of words on paper that could be called writing, that they originated in New Jersey because people threw all of their fucking garbage all over the goddamn place. One day a little kid got trapped under the mountain of the garbage and the town presumed him dead. His death motivated the town to fucking pick up their goddamn garbage and put it into fucking cans, Dave.” 

Karkat wiped at the tears still pouring down his face. “The little boy was still fucking alive after being buried alive in rancid trash for over a week and everyone ended up living happily ever after, tossing their gross shit into designated cans. This student came up with this idea, wrote it out, supposedly had her mother proofread it(which is a fucking laugh), and then decided that this was acceptable to turn in for an actual fucking grade.”

In between giggles, Karkat tried to gain his breath, but then he would look back down at the story and lose it again. “Dave. I fucking _love_ my job.”

Dave couldn’t help but laugh along. “Dude, your students are fucking awesome. You have to tell Terezi about this on Saturday.”

Karkat snickered. “Oh my god, she would die.” 

As they attempted to catch their breath, Dave’s phone rang, startling them out of their amusement. Dave went to their bedroom to answer it, leaving Karkat to make an effort to focus again on grading.

He had gotten back into the groove and was plowing through papers like nobody’s business when Dave walked back into their living room, staring at his phone like he had never seen it before.

“Holy shit, Karkat.”

“…One second.” Karkat wanted to finish the one he was working on. He was on a roll.

“KARKAT.”

Karkat looked up from his pile of papers and frowned at the interruption. “What?”

“That was someone from The Scratched Record Production Company. Apparently, they had heard of me from the owners of Duodecim, who I guess like own clubs all over the place, I dunno I don’t deal with them, and they had stopped by the last time I was there. They said didn’t get a chance to talk to me.” Dave blushed, thinking of why no one would have been able to talk to him after his set. Karkat smirked. Dave continued, his voice steadily rising in pitch. “But they liked what I did. They asked for me to send them a couple of mixes of mine.” Dave paused, his grip on his phone tightening. “Is this real? Is this really fucking happening to me right now?”

Karkat dropped his smirk, sat up and looked at Dave in astonishment. “Holy shit! Dave, that’s huge!”

Dave tried to fight down a grin and lost. “Dude, I know. I mean, I gotta do some research and ask around and stuff so I know its legit. But. If it is…”

Karkat got up and hugged Dave tightly. “Dave. You are fucking awesome at your job. They would have to have their heads so far up their asses a proctologist wouldn’t be able to find them if they didn’t like you.” 

He leaned back, leaving his hands on Dave’s arms. “Do you know what would happen when they do like your music?”

Dave shrugged. “Um, not sure yet. You will literally be the first person I tell when I do though.”

Karkat squeezed Dave’s shoulders then sat back down at his papers. He knew that Dave needed some time to process and plan what he was going to do. When he did, Karkat would be waiting.

\---  
The rest of the week crawled by without much else of interest. Terezi had invited them to a movie night at her apartment on Saturday, and when the day came, they were both ready to spend some time with their friends. 

“Coolkid! Karkles! You made it! Did you bring delicious snacks?” Terezi sniffed them at her front door as she let them in. “Mmm, is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it is half of the giant candy bin from Walmart because Dave insisted like a child that we get at least five of every kind of candy they had, then yes.”

Terezi cackled. “Yesss.” She held up her hand for a high five and Dave fist bumped it, causing Terezi to laugh even more.

“Okay children, as much as I would love to just start living in your entryway, getting old and growing a truly magnificent old man beard that people will come from all over the world to see, I would actually like to come inside and maybe, maaaaybe do what we came here to do. Which is watch some truly unappreciated cinematic masterpieces.”

“Dude, we are not watching 27 Dresses again tonight.”

“Says you.”

“Says everyone. Right, Terezi?”

“Hehehe, I guess we’ll find out after tonight’s challenge!”

Karkat groaned. “Ugh. Please tell me it isn’t going to be another coin flip. You ALWAYS win those.”

“Nope! I have something more involved planned for tonight.” Terezi grinned with all her teeth.

“Something tells me I am going to live to regret hearing those words.”

Terezi just laughed. “C’mon. Everyone’s in the living room. You two slackers were the last to arrive.”

Dave and Karkat followed her into the living room, where John, Vriska, Nepeta, and Tavros were all sitting. There was a bowl full of popcorn practically the size of a Smart Car taking up most of the coffee table. 

Karkat stared at it in awe while Dave lugged in the candy and dumped it in the remaining space on the table. 

“Hi Dave! Hi Karkat!” John waved enthusiastically.

Dave greeted everyone, but Karkat was still staring at the enormous bowl of popcorn.

Why wasn’t anyone else making a big deal about it?  
How did they even get it in here??  
Where would you even find a bowl that big???  
How long did it even take to make that much popcorn???? 

He guessed that it would make more sense to buy those giant bags of pre-popped stuff from the store, but he knew his friends and they never liked to do anything the easy way.  
Everyone stared at Karkat for a silent moment, then started laughing. Apparently he had said all that out loud.

Vriska rolled her eyes. “Reeeeeeeelax, Karkat. It’s just a bowl. No need to get your panties in a twist.” 

“Just a bowl? JUST A BOWL?? This thing has its own gravity!” Karkat shook his head. “Or maybe that’s from the weight of your ego.”

Vriska opened her mouth to retort, but Terezi interrupted. “Hush you two! Since everyone is here, it’s time to get started! Now, I have a special challenge tonight.” 

She stood up and paused dramatically, then waved her arms about her, almost knocking into the popcorn bowl. 

“There will be thrills, there will be chills. You will experience a whole host of cheers, probably some leers, and maybe your worst fears. There MIGHT even be some tears.”

“Nice one, Rezi.” Dave interjected. He reached over to grab her fist and give it a bump.

“Thanks!” She cleared her throat to get back into her groove. “Tonight will be a contest to see who truly wants to be the very best… at Pokemon Karaoke!!”

Crickets.

Terezi frowned, but continued in an official voice. “You will be placed in pairs. Each pair will have one participant who has a movie to submit for tonight’s viewing. Once in your pairs, you must choose a song/poem from Pokemon: Indigo League to perform with your partner. Your choices include, but are not limited to: the Theme Song, Team Rocket’s motto, and selections from the PokeRap.” Dave’s face lit up. The others seemed more interested as well now they knew what was involved.

Terezi continued. “I know you nerds already have the lyrics memorized, and if you don’t, tough luck! I am to be the judge. The pairs are as follows. John and Vriska, Nepeta and Tavros, and Dave and Karkat. You have ten minutes to prepare and yes, you are allowed to use props. The winners get to choose the movie and make drinks for everyone. The losers have to watch whatever is picked without complaining, and drink whatever the winners make.” She paused, grinning. “And I mean _whatever_ they make.” 

Terezi made a show of setting the timer on her phone. She held it up, finger hovering over the button. “Your ten minutes start…now!”

Dave, eyes full of hope, turned to Karkat and opened his mouth.

“No.”

“Aww, c’mon Karkat you don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“You want to do the PokeRap. You want to do the last section of the PokeRap. And you want me to say _Charmeeeeleon_ and **WARTORTLE** just like you do at home.” Karkat grumbled. “I never should’ve given in to that.”

Dave pouted for a moment, then smirked at Karkat, lowering his shades to make eye contact. “I’ll give you a blow job if you do it. Not just that. I’ll give you the blowiest of all blow jobs there ever was. All the other bj’s will be all like, writhing in envy because they can’t be half as blowy as the job I’m gonna give you. Go home other bj’s. Pack your bags. Nobody wants you here. Only the best of cocksuckers for my man Karkat.”

Karkat snorted at Dave. “It is both terrifying and amusing that you would suck dick to get to sing a PokeRap at your friends. But somehow with your word vomit you made the prospect of getting head kind of repulsive. Congratulations, Dave. You are your own best cockblocker.”

“Harsh. I wouldn’t suck anyone’s dick to get to do it. Just yours. And maybe Macklemore’s.”

Karkat’s mouth dropped in very real horror. He scooted away from Dave. “That’s it. This relationship is over. You have an hour to pack your bags before I throw all your stuff out the window and light it on fire.” Karkat shuddered. “I need to dissolve my head in acid to remove that hideous picture in my brain from existence.” 

Dave’s cheeks puffed out, then he snickered. “Pfffft. Your expression was priceless. I shoulda taken a picture.” 

Karkat clicked his mouth shut and crossed his arms. “There is a line, Dave. And you not only crossed it, you did warm ups and sprinted toward that line and when you jumped over, you flew up into the upper atmosphere where you would never be able to find the line again, spiraling endlessly into space with only yourself to blame.”

Dave scooted closer to Karkat and put a hand on his arm. “Babe, I’m sorry that hilarious comment made you uncomfortable. I was joking. Yours is the only dick I ever want to suck.”

“Boys!” Dave and Karkat jumped in their seats. Terezi had walked over and was standing right in front of them. “I thought I heard you two slacking! Shouldn’t you be working on something?”

They looked at each other. “Pleeeease?” Dave begged. He put his hands on Karkat’s knees and stuck out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout. Karkat knew that if he could see behind the shades that Dave would be making puppy dog eyes at him.

Karkat threw his hands in the air. “Ugh. I guess!”

Satisfied they were finally taking her game seriously, Terezi left them. It seemed that while they were bickering, everyone else had wandered off to different parts of the apartment to work with their partners.

Dave took the rest of the rap while Karkat did the singing/talking part. Dave insisted that Karkat do the YMCA dance behind him while he was doing the rapping portions for some reason. Karkat didn’t know what Dave was planning to do during Karkat’s part, but he knew it would be ridiculous. After their discussion, Karkat went to the kitchen to get a drink. And maybe a shot or two. He was going to need it.

\---

By the time Karkat had finished his short but intense drinking spree, the ten minutes was up. Terezi hollered for everyone to come back to the living room. 

“Friends. Companions. Compatriots. Comrades. It is finally here. The moment you have been waiting for….It’s Pokemon Karaoke! Do we have any contestant brave enough to go first? John and Vriska? What will you be performing?”

“The Team Rocket Motto, duuuuuuuuh!”

John nodded. “Yup. Don’t we look awesome?”

Vriska high fived John. “These scrublords won’t hold a candle to our reenactment of the original Team Rocket entrance.”

Vriska had pulled her hair into a side ponytail approximating Jessie’s hairstyle. John had brushed his hair down to make it look longer and was holding an origami rose. They both had giant R’s taped to the front of their shirts. 

“Are you ready?” Terezi asked, sitting on the edge of her seat.

“We were born ready.” Both John and Vriska answered at the same time. They gave each other another high five. Vriska fiddled with her phone and pulled up the Team Rocket music.

Vriska held up fist. “Prepare for trouble!”

John copied her movements. “Make it double!”

“To protect the world from devastation!”

“To unite all peoples within our nation!”

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

“To extend our reach to the stars above!”

“Jessie!”

“James!”

They held out their arms dramatically. “Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!”

“Surrender now, or prepare to fight!”

“Meowth! That's right!” Nepeta called from the couch.

Karkat frowned. “Nepeta, you aren’t supposed to be helping them!”

She gave a small smile and shrugged. “We are gonna watch all the movies purrity much anyways, right?”

Karkat huffed. “It’s the principle of it.”

Everyone ignored him. Terezi clapped. “Bravo John and Vriska! Such a show of inter-team cooperation. An authentic reenactment of such a monumental motto! Will either of the other teams dare to follow?”

Tavros raised his hand. “Uh, N-nepeta and I will go.”

“All right! Up next we have the dynamic duo of Nepeta and Tavros. They will be performing…?”

“Well, uh, I originally wanted to do the uh, PokeRap, but figured that’s what Dave and Karkat would be doing. So we are uh, doing the Theme Song.”

They stepped to the front of the room. Nepeta cleared off a space on the coffee table and put a small plastic bowl upside down on it.

Terezi nodded at them. “Okay performers, whenever you are ready.” 

Nepeta sat down in front of the bowl and looked up at Tavros, who gave a shaky thumbs up. Nepeta rubbed her hands together, then brought them over the bowl.  
She started drumming the opening beat to the Pokemon Theme Song using the bowl, the table, and claps to mimic the different kinds of drums. Tavros took up singing with a surprisingly smooth baritone.

“I wanna be the very best  
Like no one ever was  
To catch them is my real test  
To train them is my cause”

Tavros’s voice grew more confident with each line. Nepeta continued drumming and joined in on the chorus.

“Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all!  
It's you and me.  
I know it's my destiny,  
Pokemon! Oh you're my best friend  
In a world we must defend  
Pokemon! A heart so true  
Our courage will pull us through,  
You teach me and I'll teach you,  
Pokemon! Gotta catch'em all”

When they finished, everyone clapped, even Vriska. Terezi stood up and whistled. “That was incredible! I think we already have a winner!” Nepeta and Tavros moved to sit back down. 

Terezi spoke to Nepeta. “Your drumming skills were perfect. They really took it to the next level!”

Nepeta blushed. “Thank you! Tavros’s singing was just so pawsitively beautiful!”

Terezi turned towards Dave and Karkat. “Of course, we still need our resident coolkid and grumpyface to perform. Don’t think you are going to get out of it that easy!”

Dave held a hand over his heart. “Oh, we would never.” He pulled on Karkat’s arm. “C’mon Karkles. It’s our time to shine.”

They stood up in front of everyone. Dave pulled up the music for the last PokeRap section. Karkat took a breath. This was gonna suck.

Karkat refused to smile. He opened his mouth and deadpanned. 

"Whoa, catch your breath man. Shake out those lips.  
It's downhill from here, just 24 more to go.  
Now it gets tricky so listen real good."

John was snickering. Karkat chanced a look behind him. Dave was doing the moonwalk back and forth. When it was his turn, he stopped and traded paces with Karkat. Karkat stepped back and began to do the YMCA dance. How did his life come to this?

“Sandslash, Hitmonlee, Psyduck, Arcanine  
Eevee, Exeggutor, Kabutops, Zapdos  
Dratini, Growlithe, Mr. Mime, Cubone  
Graveler, Voltorb, Gloooooom.”

Karat stepped forward and rolled his eyes. 

“We’re almost home.  
Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, yeow.  
Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all, huaw.  
Gotta catch 'em all, Pokemon.”

Karkat finally grinned. Despite what he told Dave, he actually did like this next part. 

_“CHARMEEEEEEELEON._ ” He lowered his voice and growled. “ **WARTORTLE!** ”

They did the rest of the rap together. Having done his favorite part, Karkat got more enthusiastic about finishing it.

“Mewtwo, Tentacruel, Aerodactyl  
Omanyte, Sloooowpooooke  
Pidgeot, Arbok…  
That's all folks!”

Dave gestured for everyone to get up and join them. 

“Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all  
Gotta catch 'em all, Pokemon!”

Everyone shouted the last line and posed, Karkat included. He was so glad he had those shots earlier.

Terezi cackled. “Okay, that was kind of amazing. Karkat, I think your part was beautiful.”

She clapped her hands together. “However, after much deliberation I have decided that Nepeta and Tavros win tonight’s competition.” Nepeta hollered in celebration and gave Tavros a high five. 

Terezi continued. “Before we watch your movie, it is time for you to make all these losers drink whatever you want. The only stipulation is that it has to contain alcohol, since no one is driving. Now! To the kitchen!”

Nepeta giggled and her and Tavros followed Terezi to the kitchen while everyone else groaned.

Dave put his hands on Karkat’s shoulders. “Well, Karkles. We lost. If you need a shoulder to cry on, John is over there.” 

Karkat knocked Dave’s hands off him. “Please. We both know you’ll be the one crying yourself to sleep tonight because Terezi didn’t appreciate your “irony”.”

“Ouch, Karkat. Ima have to take my sunglasses off cuz I can’t see through all this shade your dealin’.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Come on. Lets go see what horrific concoction that the ladies are going to force down our unwilling throats.” He dragged Dave behind him. 

“Ten bucks its cat themed.” Dave said.

Karkat rose an eyebrow. “Psh. You’re on. Nepeta is terrifying. It’s gonna be something gross.”

They entered the kitchen to see Nepeta pouring something thick and bright red from a cocktail shaker into a line of shot glasses. When was finished she looked up at them, smiled brightly and handed them each one. “It’s the Blood of Our Enemies. Drink up!”

Karkat and Dave both looked down into their shot glasses, then back at each other and grimaced. Dave owed Karkat ten bucks. They clinked their glasses together and tossed them back. The shots were...actually not bad. Something tomato-y. Karkat was relieved. You never knew with Nepeta.

Dave leaned in and whispered into Karkat’s ear. “Dude. Why are librarians always so creepy?”

Nepeta looked over, bright smile still on her face. “I heard that!”

Terezi laughed but Dave panicked and was about to run, but Karkat held him in place.

John and Vriska soon wandered in and were treated to the experience. Nepeta had make enough for everyone to have two shots, so when they were all ready, they had another round. When they were finished they dumped their shot glasses in the sink, and those who wanted something else made more drinks. Karkat made him and Dave drinks with Whipped Cream Vodka and 7-Up. He was feeling nostalgic, so what?

Everyone wandered back in to the living room, ready to watch some no-doubtedly terrible movies.

Terezi had grabbed a couple of more appropriate sized popcorn bowls and filled them up from the not appropriate sized popcorn bowl that had been relocated to the floor because it blocked the tv. She handed one to Vriska, who was sitting in an armchair on the far side of the room, one to Karkat, who was squished in with Dave and John on the small loveseat, and kept one before sandwiching herself in between Tavros and Nepeta on the couch.

Since Nepeta and Tavros had won the competition, they watched the movie that Nepeta brought, which was The Aristocats. Everyone secretly loved the movie so there was little grumbling.

As soon as the credits started rolling, Karkat jumped up to put his movie in.

Dave stared at the television as the movie Clueless started to play, then looked at the abandoned dvd case on the floor. “Karkat, did you really swap disks just so I’d think you’d make us watch 27 Dresses for the billionth time?”

Karkat knew it was silly, but he was proud of himself. “I sure as fuck did.”

Dave leaned into Karkat’s side. “You are such a dork.”

Karkat poked Dave in the side. “Shut up. I want to watch the movie.”

Dave was quiet for just a couple of minutes before he elbowed Karkat. “Dude, pass the cockporn.”

“….”

“POPCORN. PASS THE POPCORN.”

Karkat’s whole face lit up in a gleeful smile. “I swear on my childhood dog Barry’s shallow backyard grave that I will never, ever let you forget this.”

“Karkat…”

Karkat handed the popcorn over. “Oh man, everything bad that has ever happened to me is so worth it because I was alive and able to hear those beautiful words escape your mouth. Thank you, Dave. Thank you.”

“Guys, shut up!” Terezi yelled.

They stopped talking, but Karkat kept giggling. 

All in all, it had turned out to be a pretty fucking good night.


	4. Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys....guys... plotty stuff is going to slowly start happening now. n some of it is not fun
> 
> sorry... :(

“Thanks for coming tonight. I think I’d eat my own eyeballs out of boredom if you weren’t here.” Karkat and Kanaya were sitting on the bleachers in the middle school gym watching a basketball game. Karkat had assigned duty and had asked earlier if Kanaya would come with him. He'd been kinda feeling weird and down this last week and didn't want to be here by himself.

“It is no problem, Karkat. I feel like it has been a long while since we were able to spend any time together.” Kanaya patted Karkat’s hair affectionately. “I must admit that I have missed you.”

Karkat leaned briefly into her touch before stepping back. “Yeah, me too. And Dave wouldn’t shut up about finally spending some ‘quality bro time’ with Rose.”

“Rose, too was excited about their evening together. Actually, we both have some news that we want to share with you...” 

“JIMMY! THAT IS GROSS AND YOU NEED TO STOP!” Karkat hollered at a student who was eating food off the floor. Kanaya winced and rubbed her ears. Said student laughed and high fived his friends.

“Ugh. Sorry. I swear he does that on purpose because I find it disgusting. Like, if he really truly wanted to eat food off the floor in peace, he would go somewhere that wasn’t literally right in front of me.” Karkat rubbed his eyes, then stopped and looked at Kanaya. “What was it that you were going to say?”

Kanaya blushed prettily and held out her left hand. On it was a sparkling ring with a large purple gemstone. Karkat stared at it for a moment then dove at Kanaya for a hug.  
“Oh my god, Kanaya. Congratulations! Who did the proposing? How was it done? Have you set a date? Holy shit, Kanaya!” He wondered if Rose had already shared the news with Dave.

Kanaya smiled and admired her ring. “Rose proposed to me this last weekend. We were walking through the botanical gardens and came to a lovely canopy of roses.”

Karkat muffled a snort, but Kanaya ignored him. “What she said was quite moving.” She met Karkat’s gaze, her eyes shining. “I am so happy, Karkat.”

He took her hand and squeezed it. She didn’t need him shitting all over her good mood. She deserved all the happiness that life could give her.

“And if it isn’t too much to ask, I would be very grateful if you were to be my man of honor.”

Karkat's heart squeezed. He hoped he could do what she needed. “Kanaya, I will be the best fu…freaking man of honor. I’ll have so much honor you will be swept away in a tsunami of honor and beg that I back off. You need anything done at all, I’ll be there.”

Kanaya smiled and leaned against Karkat. “Thank you.”

Karkat nodded, already thinking back to his romcoms and what was actually involved in a wedding. They’d have to go to dress fittings, cake tastings, pick out flowers… God he hoped he wouldn’t fuck anything up.

“We’ve decided to set a date for late May. That way Rose, you, and many of the others would not need to take any time off for the wedding.”

Karkat hadn’t even thought of that. It was unsurprising that Kanaya had and chose the most considerate option for everyone else. It also worked out because it gave them around six months to plan. 

He glanced over at Kanaya. “Do you think Rose has told Dave by now?”

She grinned knowingly. “Yes. You may go ahead and text him.”

Karkat whipped out his phone. 

 

Karkat: DAVE. HAS ROSE TOLD YOU YET?

Dave: dude i know its so cool  
Dave: our little babies are all growed up  
Dave: did kanaya ask you to be her man of honor

Karkat: YES. WHAT ABOUT ROSE?

Dave: duh we are going to have to get matching tuxes

Karkat: I AM *NOT* WEARING A BRIGHT RED TUXEDO

Dave: aw cmon babe youd look so hot  
Dave: hotter than a hot tamale soaked in hot sauce made out of ghost peppers and lava  
Dave: we might die but itd be worth it

Karkat: DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT ROSE AND KANAYA WOULD EVEN LET US WEAR SOMETHING SO ABOMINABLE TO THEIR WEDDING THAT EVEN I THINK ITS UGLY? THEY WOULD KILL US, STUFF OUR CORPSES, AND DRESS OUR EFFIGYS IN FASHIONABLE MEN’S WEAR.

Dave: maybe  
Dave: the only way to find out  
Dave: is to show up wearing matching red tuxedos  
Dave: and to get you a set of rad shades

Karkat: I WOULD RATHER DIE IN A SEWER COMPLETELY FILLED WITH THE AFTER EFFECTS OF BAD SEAFOOD.

Dave: dude gross  
Dave: listen rose is dragging me to some french movie or something so i gotta go  
Dave: but i got something else to tell you  
Dave: talk to you when i get home

Karkat pocketed his phone. He wondered what Dave wanted to talk about. Karkat always felt anxious when somebody told him they needed to talk. It never led to anything good. He spent the rest of the evening with Kanaya trying to put it out of his mind by talking about wedding plans and ineffectually yelling at rambunctious middle schoolers. 

\---

Karkat, dressed only in his Krabby printed boxers that Terezi had gotten him, was in the middle of brushing his teeth when Dave came back. He shuffled up to Karkat and threw his arms around him.

Dave set his head on Karkat’s shoulder. “Ugh. That movie sucked Hugh Jackman’s sweaty Australian balls.” He leaned his head against Karkat’s. “How was the game?”

Karkat spat out his toothpaste, dislodging Dave from his shoulder. “We won, surprisingly. It was nice to have Kanaya there.”

Dave nodded. “What do you think about them getting married?”

“It’s about damn time. They already act like an old married couple, anyway.”

“Ha, yeah.” Dave trailed off. He stood awkwardly behind Karkat, hands shoved into his pockets. He wouldn’t meet Karkat’s eyes in the mirror. Karkat’s nerves ramped back up. Did Karkat do something wrong? Was Dave about to break up with him? Karkat racked his brain trying to figure out some way he had fucked up. Without him noticing, his hands had gripped the edge of the sink tightly, causing his knuckles to turn white.

Dave pressed close to Karkat and reached around him and gently pried his hands from the sink. “You’re wondering what I want to talk about, yeah?”

Karkat swallowed and nodded. Whatever it was that he had wrecked, he didn’t want to make it worse by anything he said now.

Dave released Karkat’s hands and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry I’m freaking you out. It’s not anything bad.”

Karkat waited.

“So you know how a couple of weeks ago I got called by The Scratched Record about those mixes and after doing some research I sent some in?”

Karkat nodded again.

“Well, apparently they liked them. They called me earlier and offered to fly me out to their head offices in California so we could meet. The flight’s on Monday.”

Dave stopped. Karkat rose his eyebrows. “Dave, that is amazing. This is great for you! Aren’t you excited?”

He shrugged. “Uh, yeah. But like, I kinda thought you’d, uh, well, nevermind. But yeah. You think I should go?”

Karkat stared at Dave through the mirror. “Of fucking course I do! How long would you be gone for?”

The beginnings of a smile appeared on Dave’s face. “Just a few days. I’d be back in time for work next weekend.”

Karkat turned in Dave’s arms and kissed him. “Holy shit you had me worried there.” Dave grinned helplessly. “I’m fucking proud of you, Dave.”

Karkat hugged Dave and then stepped back and around him. “It’s past my goddamn bedtime, but I’ll make you dinner tomorrow to celebrate. Sound good?”

“Mmm hmm. Gimme a minute and I’ll be right behind ya.”

Karkat walked to their bedroom and crawled into bed. He wondered why Dave was acting so odd earlier about such good news, but didn’t want to cause an argument by bringing it up. Karkat really was tired though, and fell asleep before Dave could join him, his unspoken worry fueling his anxiety-laden dreams.

\---

Monday arrived before they knew it. Karkat offered to take a half-day to go with Dave to the airport, but Dave had said that Kanaya would be able to drive him. Karkat felt guilty and made Dave promise to send him pictures of himself so that Karkat could tell he was alive and hadn’t been kidnapped.

Karkat kissed him goodbye and hurried off to work, filled with an unidentifiable restlessness that lately he couldn’t shake.

Karkat had classes all morning and didn’t get a chance to check his phone until lunchtime. Dave had already sent him a dozen selfies. The first one was in Kanaya’s car. He was doing a duckface and had added #kidnappedbylesbiansistersfiance. The next ones were in the airport, in the plane, by the baggage claim, etc. All of them had some version #kidnappedby written underneath. Karkat rolled his eyes but was secretly glad Dave had kept his promise. He assumed the rate of pictures would decline as Dave actually got busy.

Karkat assumed wrong. There were even more pictures on his phone when Karkat checked it after school. In one of them, Dave was standing in front of a giant glass building with a sparkling fountain. The caption was #kidnappedbythescratchedrecord, then #jkbuttheycantotallykidnapmeiftheywantholyshit. The rest of the pictures were of various rooms and people and mixing equipment. 

Karkat was glad Dave was having fun, but he wondered if Dave would prefer living in California. It definitely had to be more interesting there. There were probably a lot of really attractive people who knew a lot more about music and other things Dave liked.

Karkat stopped by the grocery store on the way home and bought several different kinds of ice cream and toppings. If he was going to be by himself for a couple of days, then by god if he wasn’t going to watch every romantic comedy he owned and eat enough ice cream to make himself sick. Karkat realized that this could be construed as pining, but he decided that he did not give a fuck.

During his third movie in, Dave called.

Karkat turned the volume down low and answered. “Hey, Dave.”

“Sup… is that the Princess Bride?”

Karkat paused. He thought he had turned it down enough. “…Maybe.”

“You are just sitting at home eating a bunch of ice cream and watching romcoms aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Dave laughed. “I miss you.”

“You haven’t even been gone a whole day yet.” Karkat missed him too.

Karkat could practically hear Dave shrug. “Eh, whatever.”

“It looks like you had a pretty fucking busy day.”

Dave chuckled. “Yeah, they gave me a tour today. It was fucking incredible. God, so much great music has been made here. Tomorrow they want to have a meeting to discuss my mixes and stuff I guess. “

“That’s awesome, Dave. I’m glad you are having a good time.”

“I wish you were here with me.”

“That’d be nice. If it weren’t for these pesky kids…” And the fact that Karkat would probably drag Dave down with his moping.

“Dude. A Scooby Doo reference?”

“…”

“Ruh roh.”

“………”

“Anyways, you shouldn’t stay up too late even if you are living it up like your folks aren’t home, partying until the dawn. I don’t want you in a sleep deprived, ice-cream stomachache induced rage tomorrow. I’m too far away to bail you out of jail, Karkat. Then what would you do?”

“Yeah, my stomach does kind of hurt.” Eh, it was nothing major. Karkat didn’t really care. “I used to be able to eat twice this amount of ice cream.”

“Dude you’re so old.”

“Shut up, I’m only a couple of years older than you.”

“So. Old. Fossils toss their hats to you since they can't even begin to compare with how old you are. How _did_ you survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs?”

Karkat growled. “I’ll show you how old I am the second you get back from California.” 

Dave sounded smug. “Good. Now get to bed, old man. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

Karkat huffed. “Fine. Good night, Dave.”

“Night, Karkat.”

Karkat sat up and turned off the tv. He knew Dave was teasing him, but Karkat did feel kind of old right then. Blech. Maybe he was just tired.

\---

The next couple of days passed slowly. Karkat worked, came home, and avoided eating much since he still felt kind of off. Dave’s flight came in Thursday afternoon, so he was back at the apartment by the time Karkat got home. As soon as Karkat locked the door behind him, he had a face full of Dave.

“Mmmph. Woah, Dave.”

Dave kissed Karkat and pressed his body against him. “I missed you, Karkat.”

Dave deepened the kiss and let his hands roam around Karkat’s body. Karkat responded limply. He had missed Dave, too, but wasn’t feeling up to sex right now. Dave noticed. He pulled back and frowned.

“Babe, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, I guess I’m just not in the mood right now.”

Dave’s frown deepened. “You sounded like you were in the mood last night. I was looking forward to seeing you today.”

“Yeah, well I just had a long day and I don’t feel like fucking right now.” Karkat snapped. Ugh, what was wrong with him? Why the fuck was he so irritable?

Dave stepped back, a look of hurt across his face. “Jesus, Karkat. Fine. What crawled up your ass and died?”

Karkat raked his hands through his hair. “I don’t know! I’ve been feeling weird lately, like restless and irritable and always fucking anxious. Its fucking miserable.” His shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I am glad you are back.”

Dave came closer again and hugged Karkat. “Karkat, I’m sorry. I should’ve noticed.”

“No, its fine. Sorry.”

Dave led them to the couch and pulled Karkat next to him.

Karkat internally kicked himself for being a selfish asshole. He had made everything about himself. Just like always.

He rested his head on Dave’s shoulder. “How was the rest of your trip?”

“Good. Long fuckin’ flights though.” Dave hesitated. “They want me to come back in a couple of weeks. I guess there’s someone they want to meet me. I…” He paused. “I don’t think I should go. You need me here.”

Karkat sat up. “Dave, of course you are fucking going. That’s not even in question. I know I’m a selfish pile of garbage, but I hope I am not THAT much of an asshole. You are better than most of the fuckwits who make music and they are obviously getting a hint of that or they wouldn’t be having you come back. You have to go.”

Dave still looked unsure. “I don’t know..”

Karkat rolled his eyes, feeling more like himself than he had in days. “I do. You’re going.”

A small smile founds its way on Dave’s mouth. “Yes, sir. Mr. Vantas, sir.”

Karkat moved to sit on Dave’s lap. “You know, maybe I am in the mood after all. I mean, you still have to pay for that shit you pulled yesterday.”

Dave’s smile grew. “Oh, fuck yes.”

Karkat grinned for the first time all day as he leaned down to meet Dave’s mouth with his. Maybe he hadn't fucked everything up after all.


	5. In which Karkat gets good advice but may or may not listen to it, and something unrelated but amazing is discussed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: anxiety and depression
> 
> guys. i've stopped following voice of reason. okay, maybe i never listened to it in the first place.
> 
> i mean, theres one good thing about this chapter. at least for me. but.
> 
> ugh i'm sorry for the next few chapters

Karkat and Dave found themselves in a moderately (un)comfortable routine where they pretended they hadn’t snapped at each other, that nothing was going on with Karkat, and that Dave’s trips to California weren’t going to affect their future. 

Each day, the knot of aimless fear and restlessness in Karkat’s chest grew. He was tired of fucking things up so he tried to ignore it as best he could. By the time Dave needed to leave again, Karkat felt like he had an ulcer. He said goodbye to Dave at their house, feeling desperate, but not sure what about. 

On Wednesday, Terezi called him to tell him he was going to dinner with her and that she wanted to talk with him. He responded that he needed to talk to her as well, but then started to freak out as soon as she hung up.

What could he have done wrong this time? Was he too rude at her last party? He picked at a hangnail until it drew blood.

She met him at a little diner not too far from her apartment. They both ordered and talked about work until their food came.

“So our little Davey is on another trip, huh?”

Terezi reached across the table and felt around Karkat’s plate for his fries. He was too anxious to eat, so he just pushed the plate to her.

“Yeah. He left Monday and he’ll get back on Friday.”

“Right, right.” She nibbled on a fry contentedly.

Karkat open his mouth, then hesitated. When did talking to his friends get so difficult?

He tried again. “You mentioned on the phone that you had something to tell me?” Karkat had been worrying non-stop about what she could possibly have to tell him.

Terezi gave her best shark grin. “Yep.” She popped the p obnoxiously.

Karkat waited.

She ate another fry, casual as can be. “You know how I’ve had a crush on someone for a while, but was too chicken shit to do anything about it?”

“Yeah…”

“Welp, with a little help from my good pal alcohol, I managed to get over myself for long enough to..well…sloppily confess my undying attraction.”

Karkat sat up straighter. “Oh my god. What the fuck happened? Are you finally gonna tell me who it is?”

She leaned forward. “The person in question…welcomed my advances. It was…” She sighed. “Incredible.”

Karkat scooted closer. “Who the fuck is it?”

Terezi leaned forward as well. She was enjoying the drama. “Nepeta.”

“NEPETA! WHAT THE FUCK?! I never would have guessed.”

She cackled. “That’s because you are a dumb boy!” 

Terezi reached out and patted his shoulder. “It’s okay though.” She leaned back and her sharp grin softened. “Everything is okay, now. Nepeta and I are finally together!”

Karkat smiled. “That is so fucking cheesy.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”

He scratched behind his ear. “Well, I’m happy that it worked out for you, Terezi. She better treat you right.” 

The shark grin was back. “Oh, she’s treating me _allll_ kinds of right.”

“Gross.”

She laughed. After a moment, Karkat laughed too, thinking of something.

“Terezi. Our whole group of friends is either gay, bi, pan, or ace. Well, except John.”

“Karkat, please. John is clearly an outlier and should not have been counted.”

“I’m telling him you said that.”

“Go ahead. I can take him.”

“Terezi, you _just_ started dating Nepeta!”

“I resent and am disgusted by what you are implying, Karkles. I should tell Nepeta. She’d kick your ass.” Terezi sighed, as if imagining it. God, she probably was.

“Ew, you can keep your apex predator fetish to yourself, thanks.” Karkat pretended to grimace. He was absolutely not imagining his two hot friends having kinky sex.

Nope, he definitely wasn’t.

She whacked him in the arm. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Time for a change in topic. “So what does Equius think of you two?”

Terezi’s mouth twisted. “He doesn’t approve. He thinks Nepeta is a pure, unsullied fairy who abstains from all things naughty and that I am an evil seductress trying to tempt her into my lusty clutches.”

Karkat snorted. Then blushed. Her phrasing was really not helping his imagination.

Terezi nodded. “Right? As if I could ever make Nepeta do anything she didn’t want to do.” She sighed again, this time more mournfully. “I do hope he comes around, though. She’d be a lot happier with his approval.”

He patted her shoulder. “Once he sees how awesome you are to her, he will.”

She placed her hand on his. “Thanks, Karkat. So what is it that you wanted to tell me about?”

Karkat grimaced for real this time. He supposed he did bring it up earlier. He proceeded to tell her about his mess of a mental state, and how he had dealt with Dave’s trip. When he was done, she smiled sympathetically. “Karkat. I don’t want to tell you what you should do. But maybe you should see a doctor. It kind of sounds like you are feeling the same way I did back in college. They, uh, have medicine that can help with that. And even if it’s not the same, it couldn’t hurt to check it out.”

Karkat shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know. Seeing a doctor kind of sounds like a big fucking deal.”

She bit her lip. “If you want, I can go with you. So you’re not alone.”

Karkat picked at his nails. “Maybe. I’ll let you know if I decide to go.”

“Okay.”

Karkat felt guilty. Once more, he had managed to make the conversation all about himself. He opened his mouth to change the subject, but Terezi wasn’t finished.

“Does Dave know how you’ve been feeling?” Karkat squirmed guiltily.

“I mentioned it when I got mad once, but we didn’t really talk about it.”

She sighed, unsurprised. “You need to talk to him. I know you, Karkat. You are just going to build it all up until it gets unmanageable.”

Terezi was right, but Karkat was stubborn. “I’ve been dealing with it.”

She frowned. “I’m giving you two weeks. If you don’t feel better or get help for yourself by then, I’m dragging you to see someone. Do you understand?”

He crossed his arms petulantly. “Fine.”

“Fine!”

Karkat caved first. “…Thanks.”

She ate another fry. Surely they had to be cold by now. “No problem, Krabby.”


	6. Shit Gets Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: break ups, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts.
> 
> not a happy chapter
> 
> I was gonna wait until tomorrow to post this, but thinking about it is making me anxious. So ya'll get it today.
> 
> ...sorry.

After the dinner with Terezi, Karkat resolved to work harder at getting past this…whatever it was. He kept himself so busy that the next couple of days flew by. Karkat spent Friday with an agitated energy at work, waiting for Dave to get home. He wanted to make up for his shitty reception from the last trip.

He got home and locked the door behind him. Maybe he would have some time to pick up their apartment a little before Dave got back. He toed his shoes off and debated where to get started. 

A voice called from the living room.

“Hey hoeey you’re hoooome.”

“You sound like a left-handed person writing with their right hand. But verbally.”

Karkat walked into the living room to see Dave sprawled on the couch looking like he was really out of it.

Karkat took a step closer, fear jolting through him. “Uh. Dave. Are you okay.”

Dave looked up, his eyes partially clouded.

“Karklessss. I’ve missed you.”

He lurched up suddenly and encapsulated Karkat with his limbs like he was a pearl within a clam. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Holy shit, Dave. Are you okay?” He rubbed Dave’s back. What was going on? 

“Psh.. m’fine. I’m perfect now that you’re here.” Dave patted Karkat’s head.

Dave was acting really weird. The pit of anxiety reasserted itself in Karkat’s stomach. “Did everything go okay?”

Dave nodded into Karkat’s shoulder. “Yeah, awesome. Everyone was nice. Like…they seemed like they really wanted me there.”

Karkat hesitated. Why was he getting such a bad feeling about this? “That’s good.”

Dave held on to Karkat more tightly. “Yeah. But you weren’t there. So it didn’ matter.”

Something clicked in his brain. Karkat’s pulled himself out of Dave’s hold. “Dave. Are you...Have you taken anything?” Dave didn’t normally do that kind of shit, but he was just acting so off..

Dave shrugged, but tried to pull himself together. “Mmm. I mighta had some Xanax cuz I was freakin out. Then had a drink cuz it wasn’t working.”

Karkat had never felt more helpless. Dave didn’t do this. He wouldn’t hurt himself like this. He wouldn’t hurt Karkat like this. He reached out. “Dave…”

He shrugged off Karkat’s hands. “I know, Karkat.”

Karkat changed tactics. “Why were you freaking out? Isn’t this all a good thing?”

Dave shook himself, trying to gain some semblance of sobriety.

“Karkat. I love you. You are the love of my life. There is no way anything I can do to ever deserve you. You are all responsible and shit. Working with kids. Shaping tomorrow. And even though you act like you don’t care, you care more than anyone I have ever met. You want everything good for your students. You want everything good for everyone.” 

Dave paused. His head dropped onto his chest. “There’s nothin’ I can do to remotely measure up to you.”

He sunk down into the couch. “I make music. Music that’s gonna fade away as soon as I’m done playin’ it. It’s not gonna outlive me. It’s not gonna do anything. You. You are gonna outlive yourself whether you realize it or not. You are influencing actual lives. Like real people. You are actively making the world a better place. There is nothing. And I mean _nothing_ I can do to deserve you.”

Karkat stared at Dave, stunned. Despite the passion and sincerity behind Dave’s words, Karkat was more scared than ever. 

Karkat’s throat was trying to constrict. He cleared it, hoping that would help. “Dave.” 

“Yeah?” He met Karkat’s eyes.

Karkat’s voice was small. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Dave jolted forward in his seat. “What? Karkat, no!”

“Then why are you saying all this? Acting like you are not important, like you don’t mean anything to me.”

“You’ve been acting so distant lately. You don’t seem happy. What did I do wrong?”

Karkat stalked up to Dave, kneeled down and held his face in his hands. “Dave. Don’t you _ever_ think that you did something wrong.” He hugged him fiercely. Karkat’s heart felt like it was going to combust with emotion. What was wrong with him? How did he manage to make Dave feel like this? If he didn’t convinced Dave now how much he loved him, how would he ever?

“You mean the world to me. You are _everything_.”

“Karkat…”

“Dave, I can’t stand you saying these things. Don’t you get it?”

“Karkat.” Dave stopped. He grabbed Karkat’s shoulders but lifted a hand to his shades to push them up. Dave looked Karkat in the eyes. “They offered me a job.”

“What?” Karkat was taken aback at the sudden change of pace.

“They want me to move to California to work for them.”

Karkat froze.

“I turned them down.”

Karkat unfroze.

“WHAT THE FUCK.”

Dave sat back, startled.

“Karkat..”

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT??”

Silence.

“Because I can’t leave you. I need to try to fix whatever is going on with us.”

Karkat reared back and fell off the couch. He quickly stood and backed up to the wall.

“You..you gave up your dream for me? I fucked up that badly?”

Dave looked up at Karkat, meeting his eyes. He shook his head helplessly. “ _You_ are my dream.”

Karkat pressed his back against the wall. He felt cornered.

“You can’t do this.”

Dave frowned. “This is what I want.”

Karkat pushed himself off the wall. He was angry now. “Don’t lie to me. You’ve told me before that you want to produce.” He ran his hand through his hair, then straightened his back. “I can’t let you do this.”

“It’s already done.”

“No.”

Dave paused, confused.

Karkat walked over until he was directly in front of Dave, his heart breaking more with each step.

“I’m breaking up with you, Dave.”

Dave stood abruptly. “NO.”

Karkat backed up a pace. “Dave.” He swallowed. “We’re over. You need to leave. I’ll..I’ll pack your stuff and get it to you later.” Karkat was still standing. How was he still standing? 

How was his heart still beating?

Dave took a step toward Karkat, his voice desperate. “You don’t mean this. You can’t.”

Karkat stood his ground and stared at Dave, tears falling down his cheeks without permission. “I do. You need to go.”

Dave froze. “Nope. You are bein stupid about this. I’m not going anywhere.”

Karkat stepped back, providing the space he would need if he was going to go through with this. “Dave.” He said softly. “Yes, you are. You are going to get that job and do everything you’ve ever wanted to.”

“No! Can’t you tell, Karkat? I want YOU!”

Karkat took another step back. “Dave. I’m not gonna change my mind. I’m not going to be what stops you from this.” He turned away. He could do this. He could do this for Dave.  
He was dying. “You need to leave.”

“Karkat… You love me. You told me you loved me!”

“I lied.” He was choking. He was killing himself. “That is why I’ve been so distant. I never loved you.”

Dave recoiled as if hit. He stumbled back. “…What?”

“Go. Just…just go.” Karkat sat on the couch and curled into a ball. He couldn’t stand to see Dave’s face right now. He would probably walk into an oncoming train if he did. 

His head tucked into his knees, Karkat heard Dave stumble out the door. Grudgingly, he waited a few moments. Then got up to follow. He needed to make sure that Dave didn’t do anything stupid. 

\---

He trailed behind him quietly, making sure Dave couldn’t see or hear him. 

Dave walked for a long time. Eventually, Karkat figured out where he was going.

Still hanging behind, he watched Dave sit at the picnic table where they first met.

He watched Dave’s shoulders shake.

Karkat contemplated taking every single goddamn pill in his medicine cabinet. 

Karkat contemplated taking the knife he had tucked away in their…his nightstand and using it on himself.

Karkat contemplated feeling nothing.

God, how nice that would be.

He dialed Rose’s number.

She picked up after a couple of rings.

“Good evening, Karkat. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I just broke up with Dave.”

He could hear something smash. “You WHAT?”

“I said some… pretty fucking unforgivable things to him. He’s probably…” Karkat swallowed down the bile and self-loathing rising in his throat. “He’s at Lakeside Park. Please come get him.”

Rose’s voice was filled a low rage. “You better have an _excellent_ fucking reason for this, Karkat. If he’s hurt in any way…” She left the threat unfinished. Somehow, her anger made him feel viciously satisfied. He hung up without responding. What could he even say?

He waited until he saw Rose sit down beside Dave and wrap him in a hug. Karkat got up from his hiding place and went home.

That, at least, was one thing taken care of.

As if in a dream, Karkat walked home and made a beeline to the bedroom. He sat on the bed. He reached into their nightstand and drew the knife.

His earlier thoughts resurfaced. Did he really want to die?

Right now, every single bone in his body was saying yes.

Yes, out of guilt.  
Yes, out of sorrow.  
Yes, out of grief.  
Yes, out of self-hatred.

Karkat lost track of time, staring at the knife. Eventually, he heard someone enter his apartment and then his room. Long, elegant fingers plucked the knife from his hands. Arms wrapped around him.

Kanaya.

Her voice was soft and sad. “Oh, Karkat. What happened?” 

“How…how is he?”

She didn’t answer.

“I did it for him.”

She brushed his hair away from his face. “I know you did.”

Karkat waited for her judgement. For the angry lecture he was sure was coming. That he deserved.

Her fingers continued to run through his hair. Her kindness was killing him.

Karkat opened his mouth and let the whole story pour out from the beginning. She listened quietly throughout. Her phone vibrated a couple of times but she ignored it. When he finished, he was exhausted and more drained than he could ever remember feeling. They sat there for a moment before Kanaya stood up.

“I am going to make you some tea. I will just be a moment.” She took the knife and her phone with her.

Karkat laid down on the bed. He hoped that Dave was doing okay. That it wouldn’t take long for Dave to get over him. He figured not, since Karkat was a literal pile of garbage. He could hear Kanaya murmuring something from the kitchen and had to fight his automatic response to ask to talk to Dave.

He had done this to himself. And to Dave.

At least Karkat could console himself with the knowledge that Dave would be better off without him. When he moved on he would realize how terrible Karkat was. He would be doing what he always wanted to do. He would be so good at it. Karkat was sure that Dave would meet someone much more suited to him than Karkat. He would have a great life.

Karkat wished he couldn't feel anything. He was so hurt, and so tired. 

He closed his eyes and fell instantly into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck


	7. Aftermath in Brief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I couldn't leave it off on that last chapter, but I am not finished with the next full chapter yet. So here is a short look at the aftermath.
> 
> things are going to eventually look up, I swear.

Kanaya must have called Terezi, because when he woke up, she was sitting his room.

“Terezi?” He croaked.

She sat up when she heard his voice. “Hey, Karkles. Kanaya told me the news.” She paused. “Wanna talk about it?”

He didn’t say anything, just scrunched tightly into a ball and prayed that he was still asleep.

Terezi shifted uncomfortably. “Heh. Yeah.” She fiddled with a string on her jeans. “I kinda thought that you and Dave were it, y’know. Like you were together and always would be. You balanced each other out. You just made each other better.”

Karkat felt the itch of self-hatred in the back of his head. He thought of the knife that Kanaya had taken from him. He wondered if she had taken any of his other knives.

“I know, like I _know_ this isn’t helping. God, I’m sorry Karkat.” She set her hand on his leg.

He abruptly, but lightly shoved her hand away. “I..I’ll be right back.” He bolted up and ran to the bathroom. He locked the door.

As soon as the door was locked sank down onto his knees. He tried to remind himself that he was being stupid. He couldn’t harm himself. He was an adult. He was a teacher. He couldn’t. He looked down to see that his fingers had dug into his arms so hard that they were drawing blood. He had a flash of satisfaction, then nausea hit him hard in the gut. 

There was a knock on the bathroom door.

“…Karkat. Are you…are you okay?”

“Terezi.”

“What do you need?”

He gritted his teeth. He could do this. “Can you…take me to your doctor? I think I need help.”

Her voice was gentle. “Oh, Karkat. Of course. Come on out now and we can make the appointment together.”

He took a moment to gather himself, then unlocked the door and followed his friend.

\---

The next couple of months were agonizing. Karkat started to see the same psychiatrist that Terezi went to when she was in college. She prescribed him some antidepressants and tried to help him talk through things and figure out what was going on.

At first, nothing seemed to help. He hated himself for what he did, what he said. He still felt unidentifiably restless and anxious. 

He found out through Kanaya that Dave had moved to California. He felt vindicated and hollow at the same time.

As time went on, he realized that he was able to eat normally again. He actually wanted to spend some time with his friends instead of them pushing at him to hang out. Karkat got more involved with helping Kanaya with wedding plans. Rose didn’t really want to be around him, even after Kanaya had talked to her, and Karkat could not remotely blame her. He stuck to doing stuff with Kanaya that Rose wouldn’t be there for.

Karkat wasn’t magically better. He couldn’t forgive himself for what he said to Dave, even if he knew it was what pushed Dave to take the job Karkat knew he would love.

Karkat missed Dave. He felt the vacuum of his presence. He thought that he always would.


	8. Karkat Gets Dunked On (emotionally) ((By Rose))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright fuck i felt bad about those last two chapters. so i wrote this because i felt like some stuff needed to be said to karkat and i didn't want to wait anymore. plus this is going to lead to stuff that will help dig out of this horrible chasm i pushed us all in...
> 
> thanks for sticking through this. <3

As the date of the wedding loomed closer, Karkat realized that he had yet to plan a bachelorette party for Kanaya. He knew she wasn’t expecting anything from him, but he was tired of letting people down. He had continued with both his sessions and his medicine and was at a level where he could pretty much get back to his baseline self. Well, his baseline self with the accompanying regret due to his literally terrible actions.

Karkat thought about what to do. Kanaya was far too classy for the usual indiscriminate drunken revelry (and he didn’t think he was ready to handle that scene anyways, despite all his improvement) so he decided to google some ideas and then present them to Kanaya for approval. 

Karkat didn’t have to search for long when he found the perfect idea. It wasn’t classy by any means, but it would suit another side of Kanaya quite well. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he was actually excited about it. And, he thought with rather less excitement and a bit more trepidation, that he would have to talk to Rose.

Fuck, this was going to suck.

He picked up the phone and dialed her number. It took several rings for her to answer.

“Karkat.” Her voice was cold. 

“Rose.” Fucking ugh. He took a fortifying breath. He didn’t feel very fortified. He plowed ahead anyways. “I know you don’t want to talk to me.”

She snorted derisively.

He gritted his teeth and continued. “But would you please meet me at Caffeine Apocalypse tomorrow at 9:00? I need to talk with you.”

She was silent for a moment, then spoke. “Kanaya will be at work, you know.”

“I know. It’s you I need to speak with.”

She hummed. “I suppose I am curious. I acquiesce.”

Karkat’s shoulders released their tension. “Thank you.”

“I’m not doing it for you, Karkat.” She said, then hung up.

Well, that could have gone worse. She didn’t manage to set him on fire through the phone, at least.

\---

Karkat arrived at the coffeehouse early. He ordered a coffee and sat nervously at a table until Rose arrived. She walked in precisely at 9:00. She acknowledged Karkat’s presence then went to order her own drink. Karkat fidgeted in his chair until she sat down opposite him.

Now that she was right in front of him, Karkat found himself at a loss for words.

Rose did not.

“I don’t think you have any idea how much you hurt my brother. Not only did you break up with him while he was _already_ an emotional wreck, you broke up with him while he obviously not in the right state of mind. You couldn’t even bother to wait until he was sober! _And then you left him to wander around the whole god damn city by himself._ ” She slammed her hand on the table, rage breaking through her normally cool demeanor. “Do you have ANY idea what could have happened to him?”

Karkat’s nails dug into his palms and he tried not to start crying in front of Rose. But she was right. Well, mostly right. Feeling his self-hatred crawl along his skin, he spoke. “I didn’t leave him alone.”

Rose was taken aback. “What?”

A tear fell down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly. “I followed him to the park and waited for you to show. To…to make sure. But you’re right. About everything else.”

Karkat pressed his palms to his eyes and decided to open the floodgates and just to tell the goddamn truth for once. “I’d take it back if I could. I mean, I know I can’t. And I don’t regret that Dave now works at his dream job. But I realize now there had to have been another way. That I.. handled that pretty much the worst way I possibly could have. Having thought about it and talked about it a LOT with my psychiatrist…”

Rose shifted uncomfortably, but Karkat continued, his guilt pushing him forward. “I would’ve had to get help either way since I was on a slippery road down to the intersection of Major Depression Avenue and Generalized Anxiety Disorder Boulevard, but now, if I think I had even a fraction of a chance at his forgiveness, which I KNOW I don’t deserve, I would move there with him in a heartbeat.”

Rose sighed. “I assumed that to be the case. I am sorry that you have been suffering and glad that you are receiving treatment. However, that does not excuse your actions and Dave was, _is_ heartbroken by your words.”

Karkat rubbed his face and nodded. That was kinder than he anticipated, honestly. Though her amending her last statement to present tense tore at Karkat’s heart.  
“You are right. Again. Though as right as you are and the equivalent amount that I fucked up is only one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you today.”

She rose a delicate eyebrow, waiting.

“I have an idea for Kanaya’s bachelorette party and I wanted to ask your opinion.” 

Her other eyebrow joined the first.

“I think we should play paintball for her bachelorette.” Karkat realized that it sounded more stupid when he said it out loud, especially with his face surely still puffy from his previous outburst.

A tiny smile fought its way onto Rose’s grudging face. “Karkat. As reluctant as I am to admit any of your ideas are worth any merit at all…. Kanaya would love that.”

A wave of relief swept through Karkat. “Oh good.” His excitement seeped back into his voice. “I know we’ll have to plan it a few weeks before the wedding so the bruises will fade. So, like maybe next month during Spring Break?”

Rose nodded. “Not many of our friends are taking vacations so that should work out fine. Do you have a venue in mind? What would be the cost? Would I um,” She looked briefly flustered. “Be able to attend? Seeing as it is _Kanaya’s_ bachelorette party…”

“I have a feeling that I’d be the first person she’d shoot if I didn’t invite you.”

Rose fiddled with her headband, regaining her composure, then nodded briskly. The two made plans for the party, each wrapped up in the excitement in their own way. Karkat didn’t want to fool himself, but it almost felt like...not forgiveness, but maybe a chance to move forward.

\---

Group MMS

To: Terezi, John, Jade, Nepeta, Equius, Tavros, Rose, Vriska, and 6 more…

Karkat: LISTEN UP ASSHOLES THIS IS THE MAN OF HONOR SPEAKING. ROSE AND I HAVE PLANNED THE PERFECT *SURPRISE* BACHELORETTE PARTY FOR KANAYA.  
Karkat: YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT.  
Karkat: BOTH THAT ROSE AND I PLANNED THIS TOGETHER AND THAT IT IS A FUCKING *SURPRISE*  
Karkat: I WILL SAY IT AGAIN SO IT WILL HOPEFULLY STICK IN YOUR FEEBLE BRAIN MATTER  
Karkat: IT IS A  
Karkat: FUCKING  
Karkat: *SURPRISE*  
Karkat: SO IF YOU SPOIL IT TO KANAYA SO HELP ME I WILL REACH DOWN YOUR GAPING FACEHOLES, PULL OUT YOUR INTESTINES, AND USE THEM TO MAKE DISGUSTING PEOPLE SAUSAGE FROM THE REST OF YOUR DISEASE RIDDLED BODY PARTS.  
Karkat: AND NO, JOHN. NOT *THAT* KIND OF SAUSAGE.

Vriska: Jeeeeeeeez Karkat! Get to the fucking point!

Karkat: SHUT UP. I’M NOT FINISHED.  
Karkat: *ANYWAY*  
Karkat: THE BACHELORETTE PARTY WE HAVE PLANNED IS…  
Karkat: PAINTBALL, MOTHERFUCKERS

Jade: that sounds like fun!!!!  
Jade: i’m really good at shooting things!!! ;)

Karkat:…….  
Karkat: IT IS GOING TO BE AT LOWAS PAINTBALL AT 4:00 ON APRIL 13TH  
Karkat: GUNS, GEAR, AND A SET AMOUNT OF PAINTBALLS WILL BE PROVIDED  
Karkat: IF YOU WANT MORE, YOU PAY FOR IT YOURSELF  
Karkat: AND DON’T BRING STUPID GIFTS. SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN THAT.  
Karkat: YOU ALL BETTER FOLLOW THE RULES BECAUSE YOU GET TO DEAL WITH ROSE IF WE GET KICKED OUT

Rose: Thank you for that, Karkat.  
Rose: However, I do agree. If any of you gets our party removed from the establishment…  
Rose: You will face the consequences.

The conversation continued, forcing Karkat to turn his phone on silent. He mostly ignored the group text, but did check his phone when he noticed that he got separate message from Terezi.

Terezi: K4RK4T 1T S0UNDS LIK3 Y0U 4ND L4L0ND3 M4D3 UP  
Terezi: 4ND TH4T Y0U 4R3 3XC1T3D 4B0UT P41NTB4LL. 1 4M GL4D Y0U 4R3 3XC1T3D 4B0UT TH1NGS 4G41N

Karkat: THANKS.  
Karkat: YOU..  
Karkat: REALLY HELPED ME OUT, TEREZI.  
Karkat: SO THANKS.

Terezi: Y0U M4Y B3 4N 1D10T, K4RK4T, BUT Y0U 4R3 MY 1D10T.  
Terezi: ST4Y S4F3.


	9. The Bachelorette Party that is less of a Bachelorette Party than a complete Paint-Spattered Clusterfuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case anyone was wondering, trying to dye purple hair a light brown turns it algae green. Just for future reference.

The weather slowly warmed enough that it was bearable to be outside, and everyone was dying to blow off some steam. However, much to Karkat’s chagrin, it rained heavily the night before the paintball bachelorette party. Everything was wet, and Karkat knew that even without the paint they were all going to get absolutely disgusting. 

He texted Rose and told her he was going to stop by the store and buy a bunch of cheap towels, but that she needed to bring them to the party in her and Kanaya’s car. She agreed and they decided that Karkat would just ride with them to the party instead of meeting them there. Karkat stopped by the LOWAS before his run to the store to make sure that everything was ready for them, so they wouldn’t have to worry about showing up the same time as Kanaya.

Rose had told Kanaya that the plan was for both of them to spend the afternoon with Karkat enjoying the beautiful weather and to wear clothing she wouldn’t mind ruining, ”Just in case, darling”. Delighted that Rose and Karkat were tolerating each other, Kanaya didn’t question what exactly ‘enjoying the beautiful weather’ meant.

Finally, party time had arrived and they needed to go. Trunk pre-laden, they all climbed in the car with Rose at the wheel. When they got near the sign, Karkat distracted Kanaya so she wouldn’t be able to read it as they drove past. It wasn’t much farther that they reached the parking lot, where everyone was waiting. 

Rose silently parked the car and they all got out. 

Kanaya looked around them. “Rose, Karkat. What is going on?”

“Surprise paintball bachelorette party?” Karkat offered, suddenly nervous that she wouldn’t like it.

She spied the paintball guns and the gear that their friends were decked out in and threw her head back and laughed. “Oh my goodness. I haven’t done this in years! How did you know how much I enjoyed it?” She asked Rose.

Rose gestured at Karkat. “It was Karkat’s idea. We both thought it might appeal to your” She paused and made bedroom eyes at Kanaya.”…more dangerous side.”

Kanaya gave Rose a frankly inappropriate smile, then put a hand on Karkat’s shoulder and squeezed. “You thought correctly. Sometimes I would like to destroy everyone not on my side.” She tilted her head. “Though I think a chainsaw would appeal to me more personally, I can understand why that is not included in the experience.”

Yeah, Karkat was definitely hoping that Kanaya chose him for her team.

Karkat walked up to the person in charge, who was somebody named Sam with a long, brown ponytail. They gestured to Rose and Kanaya. “You guys want to get kitted out? When you’re ready, split into two even teams and I’ll give my spiel. Sound good?” Karkat nodded and waved at Rose and Kanaya to come over. 

They put on knee and elbow pads, gloves, and paintball goggles. Somehow both Rose and Kanaya managed to pull them off without looking stupid. Karkat had a brief, intense wish that Dave was there. He knew that Dave would look ridiculous. Karkat gave a small sigh. He would outshine the sun.

Karkat internally berated himself. Now was not the time to eat that can of worms. He rounded everyone together, and pulled Kanaya and Rose to the front with him. 

Karkat cleared his throat and raised his voice. “Everybody, listen up! We are going to split into two teams, then Sam is going to give us the rundown before we start. Since they are the couple getting married and obviously can’t be on the same team, Kanaya and Rose will be our captains.”

He lowered his voice and spoke directly to Kanaya and Rose. “Do you want to go back and forth choosing, or split up the teams now so no one gets picked last.” Kanaya and Rose looked at each other and had a silent conversation before Kanaya spoke. “I believe we will pick teams now and then announce our choices.“

They chatted briefly, then nodded to Karkat. He got the group’s attention and again rose his voice. 

“Kanaya, you get to talk first because I like you better. Who will be on your team?”

She stepped forward. “My team will consist of Karkat, Vriska, Nepeta, Terezi, Equius, John, and Jake.”

Kanaya stepped back and gestured to Rose, who followed Kanaya’s lead and stepped forward. “That means my team will be Roxy, Dirk, Tavros, Jade, Jane, Sollux, and Aradia.”

Everyone started chattering loudly. Rose stepped back with a smirk to let Karkat take charge. “Everyone shut up! You’ll be able to make your threats and team names in a minute. Right now, Sam needs to talk with us.” When Karkat mentioned their name, Sam walked over.

After identifying how much experience the group had, which was not a lot, Sam went over the layout of the course and the basic rules and procedures. 

They continued. “Now that we got that covered. It’s time to talk about the type of games you will be playing. You have three, 20-30 minute matches lined up. The first two will be Basic Elimination matches. The goal here is to tag everybody on the opposing team. Each team will start out at their base that I indicated previously. You will have five minutes with your team, then I will blow the horn for you to begin. Remember, once you’ve been hit, you need to raise your gun and walk out to the dead zone. It is important that you keep in mind that making an intentional headshot automatically disqualifies you. So, when everybody on one team has been tagged, I will blow the horn and we have a winner. Are there any questions?”

Sam paused, then continued when nobody spoke. “The last match will be capture the flag, but I’ll get more into the specifics of that after the first two matches. Make sure to follow the rules and have fun.”

The group barely waited for Sam to finish before splitting into their teams, then proceeded to pick up where they left off bickering. After several of their precious minutes had passed and they realized that they both had decided on the name Team Rocket, each team had another frantic and fierce debate, but finally changed their names again. This time they were based on Harry Potter ships. Kanaya’s team was to be Team Harmony and Roses’s team decided on Team Drarry(otherwise known as Team Wizard Slash) even with Dirk pushing hard for Team Snagrid.

With some firm nudging, the teams made their way to their bases, hastily forming battle plans as they walked. The horn sounded as soon as their reached their base and chaos erupted. 

20 minutes later, the horn sounded again and those still in the woods made their way back to the dead zone. This match had turned out to be a tie, Drarry with Jade and Aradia and Harmony with Kanaya and Vriska all managing not to get shot.

After a quick water break, the teams regrouped at their bases to try again. The next round, Team Drarry won after Jade had taken out most of Harmony by herself.   
Sam had gathered them all together after the second round of Elimination.

“Looks like you all got the hang of Elimination now. Well, some of you more than others. The last round for everyone is Capture the Flag. Whichever team you are on will try to capture the flag at the other team’s base and bring it back to your own. The team that accomplishes that goal first wins. This time I’ll give you ten minutes to get to your base and strategize. It seems like you’ll need it. When the horn sounds, time’s up and the game starts. Your planning time starts now.”

Both groups booked it toward their bases. Each was determined to win. 

Frustrated and covered in paint and mud from head to toe, Team Harmony reconvened at their base. 

As their captain, Kanaya spoke first. “I understand that everyone would like to kick Team Drarry in their voluptuous behinds. That being said, I feel like our best strategist is Vriska. Vriska, would you please step forward?”

Vriska grinned with all her teeth. “Certainly. I was just waiting for the invitation. I have taken into account each member’s strengths and weaknesses and have created a plan that is best suited to our team. Kanaya will be our silent, creepy non-sniper, taking out the more bold members of our enemy’s party. Karkat will provide the distraction while Nepeta, Terezi, Equius, and John will be the flag retrieval team. I, of course, will do the most important job and make sure no one from the other team lays a finger on our flag. If anyone has any questions or concerns, they can throw them in the garbage where they belong. Our time is almost up. Make sure you do your jobs.”

Irritated, Karkat let out a growl and soon the horn sounded. The team scattered, everyone else evidently confident in their own roles. 

So his role was to be a distraction. Fine. He worked in a middle school. He could distract with the greatest distractors to distract anyone ever.

He snuck to where he figured the edge of Team Drarry’s side of the woods ended. 

He took a deep breath. He knew what he had to do.

“Oh..oh my god!” He said, soft at first, then loudly and gasped dramatically. “Holy shit! I never expected you two to…ugh Oh my god, please put your pants back on, no one wants to see that.” He paused, reveling in the complete silence of an imagined captive audience around him. “I can’t believe it! Oh god, I have to tell Terezi.“ He rustled some leaves as obnoxiously as he could. “No! You fucking make me see that shit! I’m obviously going to tell everyone what I saw.”

He did some more rustling and grabbed a twig and cracked it in what he hoped was an ominous way. “Guys. What the fuck? Get..get back! We are on the same team!”

Karkat flopped down to the ground, making sure to grunt loudly in discomfort. He was enjoying himself immensely. He almost didn’t care if anyone was listening.

Less than a minute later, a voice shouted. “ Guyth, they have our fucking flag!”

The area around Karkat burst into life. Most of Team Drarry had surrounded him, listening to his little production. They frantically ran toward Harmony’s side, completely forgetting about Karkat. He emptied his cartridge after them, not hitting anyone.

Regardless, for a moment Karkat was proud of himself. 

Then he sighed. Dave would have fucking loved that.

The horn sounded, and everyone made their way to the dead zone.

Team Harmony had won Capture the Flag in record time.

Team Drarry looked upset. Both at losing the match and the lack of drama that Karkat had led them to expect.

Sam gathered everyone together. “Does anyone have any paintballs left?” 

Jade, Roxy, Equius, Tavros, and Sollux all raised their hands. Everyone else was empty. 

“If you want, you five can go back to the woods and have a quick, five-minute round of Last Man Standing.”

“Uh, What is that?” Tavros asked hesitantly.

“Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. You go shoot the rest of your canister at each other until either everyone is empty or there is only one person left untagged. You all in?”

“I’m going to, um, pass. Does anyone else want to take my place?” Tavros asked. Vriska snatched his gun immediately. 

“Thanks soooooooo much, Tavros. I’ll make much better use of it anyways.” Vriska grinned.

Equius held his paintball gun out. “I, too, do not want to partake any longer. Someone else can stand in my stead.” 

Sollux held his up. “Thame here. I’m done.”

Karkat grabbed Sollux’s gun. “I’ll take yours, thanks.”

“Np, kk. Fuck I’m tired.”

Jake walked over to Equius and took his, almost dropping it at first since it was covered in sweat. “Thanks, old chap. I wouldn’t mind having another right ol’ go of it!”

Equius sweated some more in response.

Sam rose their voice a bit. “Okay, you all set? Good. You have three minutes as of right now to find a place to start in the woods before I use the horn.”

Jade, Roxy, Vriska, Karkat, and Jake all took off sprinting to the woods. Karkat had barely hidden behind some thick brush before he heard the horn. Immediately, Karkat heard running, shooting, and yelling. Making the sign of the cross, Karkat stepped out the bush and was instantly surrounded by a volley of splatters. 

“FUUUUUCK!” He shouted and dove for cover. He didn’t even see anyone, who the fuck was shooting at him?

He heard high laughter. “Hiya Karkat! You can’t hide from me foreverrr!”

Jade.  
Oh God, Jade.  
She was so much better at this than he was.

Okay, they only had a couple of minutes. He couldn’t spend all of it hiding. Karkat gathered his courage up, and was just about to barrel out gun blazing, when someone else stole his idea.

Jake flew out behind the trees, yelling at the top of his lungs. 

“AAAAAHHH, FOR ENGLAND AND SAINT GEORGE!”

Karkat was inspired. And also wanted to get at least one hit in. He readied his paintball gun and followed suit. “FOR CAMELOOOOOT!” 

Jake and Karkat shot at each other, both of them missing. Jake missed because he was dodging out of the way of Jade’s stealth pellets. Karkat missed because he was, well, just not very good.

Roxy and Vriska busted out into their area, locked into a deadly volley of paint filled projectiles. 

“You take that back, bitch!” Roxy roared before sliding behind a tree.

“NEVER! I think you would look good in blue hair and nothing can change my mind!” Vriska shouted. She neglected to use cover, thinking she was safe.

A bright spot of lime green appeared on Vriska’s chest. Jade had gotten her while her guard was down.

“UGH. That is FINE! I was out of paintballs anyways!” Vriska pouted and held up her gun, glaring at it as she stalked out of the woods.

There was a standoff. Roxy knew Jade was sniping, but didn’t know about Jake and Karkat. Jake really didn’t want to shoot Roxy, but also really wanted to win at something for once. Jade knew everything and was just confidently enjoying the moment. Karkat figured they only had a minute left, and wanted something to remember.

Hoping he was safe and unseen behind his bush, Karkat called out. “Okay fucktards we have less than a minute and four of us left. At the count of three, and I hope you idiots all actually follow the goddamn instructions for once in your short miserable lives, we all come out of hiding. Whoever is left unscathed, wins.” He paused. “Agreed?”

Karkat heard a chorus of agreements. He assumed with the clock ticking that no one had any better ideas.

“Right…Three. Two. ONE!” He jumped out of his hiding place and was vaguely surprised that everyone else did as well. He glanced at Jade to see that she had literally fallen out of a tree.

A volley of paintball gunfire erupted, then paused. Every single one of them had been hit. 

This was a terrible idea.

Karkat thought hard for a moment, racking his brain for information. There was too little time for anyone to complain when he spoke. “Well that sucked. New idea. Whoever can name the author of the book The Outsiders wins.”

Jade started. “Um. F. Scott Fitzgerald?” Girl could probably solve world hunger, but had the wrong answer in this case.

Roxy shrugged. “lol spiders georg?”

Jake answered confidently. “S. E. Hinton wrote The Outsiders.”

All three looked at him. He shrunk into himself a bit. “What? It was a good book.”

Karkat nodded, impressed. “Huh. Well, okay. Jake wins.”

Jake whooped. “Land sake’s alive! I’ve won!!”

A horn blared and the four of them out in the forest made their way back to their friends.

At the curious looks from the rest of the group, they explained how Jake won the round. Jake’s smile radiated happiness. Karkat never talked to him much, but felt kind of proud of him anyways.

Everyone started to clean up. After a couple of minutes, Karkat walked up to where Terezi was standing with Nepeta. He scratched the back of his head, making clumps of dirt fall out. He hadn’t wanted to ask anyone before, since he wasn’t sure if he could handle the answer, but after such a good day he thought he could now.

“Hey Terezi.” His voice came out louder than he intended and several of the others looked at him.

She turned to face him. “Whatcha need, Karkles?”

“Um. I was wondering.” He paused. Everyone was looking at him now. “If you could tell me how Dave’s doing in California.”

She bit her lip and everyone else looked at each other, avoiding Karkat’s eyes. Well if that wasn’t super fucking suspicious then Karkat would eat a dozen ghost peppers and make everyone watch while he got the fire shits.

He opened his mouth to say just that but Kanaya quickly put her hand on his arm and shook her head. Karkat closed his mouth with a snap, disappointed both that he was left in the dark and that he didn’t get to use that overly visual hyperbole.

He really thought he was ready, but apparently no one else did. Or maybe they thought he didn’t deserve to know.

He mentally shook himself. He wasn’t going down that path again. When he was done with his mental chiding, Rose called out to the group. 

“Thank you everyone for coming to this non-traditional bachelorette party and thank you to Karkat for the idea and organization. I believe I speak for both Kanaya and I when I say we hope you had an enjoyable afternoon. If you all are amenable, at 8:00 there are to be refreshments at Kanaya’s and my home to continue the celebration.”

A few people cheered, then the group dispersed. Karkat turned to Kanaya. 

She had seemed to have fun, but he wanted to be sure. “Was this okay to have for your party?”

She gave him a bright smile and hugged him tightly. “Karkat, this was perfect. You know me so well.”

He grinned, relieved. “Okay, good.”

She released him and stepped back. “Will you be coming over later?”

He thought about it. He knew he would have fun. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

She nodded sharply. “Good. Now be a dear and help Rose and I with these towels, then we will drop you off at your apartment so you can clean off.”

The evening sun shone on his back as he trailed behind her. Dirt shook loose from his hair at each step, some of it falling into his mouth. He spat it back out, cursing and causing Kanaya to laugh.

With her laughter ringing in his ears, Karkat realized that he was happy to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Rejected Team Names*
> 
> Alexander Hamilton vs Aaron Burr  
> Hot Lesbian Team 1 vs Hot Lesbian Team 2  
> Hentai Lovers United vs Paranormal Romance Enthusiasts  
> The Zodiac vs Ted Cruz  
> Pigeons vs Bread Crumbs  
> Snagrid vs Snart


	10. Panic! at the Rehearsal Dinner: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is my last day off from work for awhile so updates maaaay slow down depending how much motivation i have at the end of the work day. I do have another chapter mostly done that I need to edit that I'll post tomorrow but am too tired and hungover to work on now, lol.
> 
> as ever, thank you for reading, commenting, kudos-ing, etc! for me, writing is a slow and painstaking process but also weirdly satisfying. you guys give me the motivation to keep working and trying to improve and its pretty awesome. :)

With the bachelorette party taken care of, the last event before the wedding was the rehearsal dinner. Helping Kanaya with preparations combined with the closing of the school year left little to no time for Karkat to be idle. He was glad, because it meant that he couldn’t think about how much he missed Dave. Well, he could and he did. It was a constant, twisting ache in his heart that he really couldn’t ignore. But there was a lot of other stuff to do as well, so he tried his best.

After the bell rang on the last day of school, Karkat sat at his desk and looked at his empty room. He had been excited for the end of the year just like everyone else, but now that it was here he felt a little lost. He didn’t really have much planned for the summer. Maybe…maybe he could visit Dave. Probably not, though. No one would tell him anything about how Dave was doing. It worried Karkat, but he was sure they would tell him if something terrible had happened. Dave had probably just moved on with somebody else. Karkat hoped he was happy.

He would see him at the wedding. God, it would be the first time they had seen each other since they broke up. A familiar anxiety wormed its way into Karkat’s stomach. How could he ever begin to apologize? He knew there was no reason for Dave to forgive him, but either way Dave was owed an apology.

Karkat spent the first week of summer and the last week of the wedding constantly trying to find ways to keep himself busy. He checked in with Kanaya to see if there was anything she needed him to do, but she and Rose had things well in hand. She told what to wear to the rehearsal dinner and to show up early, but that was it. He cleaned and recleaned his apartment. Karkat went on walks around the city. Somehow, without intending to, Karkat always found himself at Lakeside Park. It was still a Pokestop, but as time passed fewer people crowded the area. He would always sit at that same picnic table, idly spinning the stop on his phone and thinking about Dave until he caught himself and headed home. Karkat was fairly certain that his psychiatrist would have some words to say to him about that.

Finally, the date of the rehearsal dinner arrived. The actual rehearsal was early in the afternoon. The whole wedding party was in attendance except for Dave, who Karkat assumed would arrive the next day before the wedding. Everything went smoothly and they finished early, giving everyone a chance to go home and get ready for the dinner.

Kanaya had told Karkat to wear the same outfit he wore when they first went to watch Dave at Sburban Jungle. Well, the same shirt and vest but nicer slacks and shoes. As he got dressed he wondered why Kanaya would bring up that specific memory. She could have just told him the clothes to wear and Karkat would only spend part of the meal pining away versus what he was going to do now, which is pine for the foreseeable future.

Karkat looked at his phone and realized he had spent way too much time overthinking everything and not enough time actually getting ready. He’d have to hurry if he wanted to be early like Kanaya asked. He finished putting everything on and checked the mirror. He had recently gotten a haircut due to Kanaya’s insistence, so his hair wasn’t AS much of a wild bird’s nest as usual. It would have to do. He grabbed his wallet and keys and headed to the restaurant.

He arrived on-time for being early and asked the host where their party was. Rose had reserved a separate room for their party, and the host pointed the way. Karkat thanked them, left the foyer and walked down a little hallway to the room. As soon as Karkat entered and looked around the room, he froze. 

Dave.

He was talking with Rose by the far tables. He looked a little thinner than Karkat remembered, but still good. He looked so, so good. As if he could hear Karkat’s thoughts, he turned and looked right at Karkat, mouth parting slightly in surprise.

Karkat’s vision went fuzzy and he realized that he had forgotten to breathe. Gasping, he ducked out into the hall. He needed to collect himself before he could bring himself to talk to Dave. He obviously knew Dave was going to be at his sister’s wedding, but he assumed he wouldn’t be at the rehearsal dinner and actually seeing him after all these months was a shock to Karkat’s system.

He ran to the far end of the hall and leaned against the wall, trying to breathe. His throat felt like it was closing and he couldn’t get enough oxygen. He slid down to the floor, his fear and anxiety buckling his knees and overwhelming him. As if from far away, he heard the door to the room open and somebody come his way.

“Karkat.” He looked up at the sound of his name.

Of course it was Dave. Of course he came to check on Karkat. Karkat’s eyes latched on his face, using Dave’s presence to ground himself. After a long moment of wide-eyed staring, Karkat could finally breathe.

Concern was etched onto his features, and he sat down beside Karkat against the wall and turned to face him.

“Hey. Um, you okay? You kind of look like you had a panic attack there.”

Karkat shifted to face Dave and huffed out a small laugh. “Yeah, I think I did. I’m okay now though. Thanks for checking on me.” Karkat itched to reach out and touch Dave, but refrained. He had no right to anymore.

Dave nodded. “Cool.”

They sat in silence for a moment. Karkat’s panic threatened to rise again, but he mercilessly shoved it down. Even so, he couldn’t stand the quiet.

“I’m sorry.” Karkat blurted.

Dave frowned. “What? Don’t be sorry for having a panic attack. That’s stupid.”

“No. I’m sorry. For everything. For what I said. For making you leave. You didn’t deserve that.”

Dave grimaced. “Not that I don’t want to hear that, because I really, really do, like more than you can imagine, but we should talk about it later. People are gonna start showing up for the dinner, y’know.”

Karkat smacked himself in the forehead. He could be so stupid sometimes. “Uh, yeah. Sorry, yeah.”

Dave reached out and tentatively rested his hand on Karkat’s shoulder. “We will talk later, okay? How about after the dinner. We can go somewhere.”

Karkat’s whole body sagged in relief. “Okay.”

A tiny voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his psychiatrist’s said that maybe he should not pin his whole emotional well-being on Dave. Karkat knew that would be healthy advice to follow. He told it to go fuck itself in the ass with a dead aloe vera plant.

Dave nodded, then stood up and held out a hand to Karkat. “You ready to go back in?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Good. This food better show up quick, cuz I’m hungrier than a bear who has been hibernating for the past decade and is just about to die, but just before he does he sees a super fat dude named Larry walking by who is too busy listening to Taylor Swift than to watch out for hungry bears. The bear eats the dude and gets, like, super heartburn because Larry had only eaten Cheesy Gordita Crunches from Taco Bell for the past 6 years. The experience was so terrible that the bear turns over a new leaf. He resolves to go on bear jogs and eat healthier and shit. He lives a long, wholesome life but never forgets how hungry he was when he had to eat Larry’s fat ass.”

Karkat tried to fight back a grin. “I forgot how awful and long-winded your metaphors are.”

“And I forgot how cute you are when you are trying not to smile.”

Karkat almost tripped. His heart sped into overtime, pumping more hope than blood through his veins. 

He took a couple of deep breaths and just like with his panic, Karkat squashed the emotion down. Dave probably didn’t mean anything by it, and even if he did, Karkat didn’t deserve it.

Both Kanaya and Rose were hovering inside the reserved room near the doors, clearly torn between wanting to check on them and attend to the other guests who had arrived by that point. Once Dave and Karkat entered the doors, Kanaya tugged Karkat away while Rose did the same with Dave.

Kanaya fretted over Karkat, eyes scanning his face. “Karkat. You look unwell. What happened?”

Karkat was glad for her worry, but also felt no small amount of unease growing in his gut. “Did you know that Dave was going to be here tonight?”

Kanaya frowned. “I did. I assumed that you knew he would be here as well, considering he is Rose’s man of honor.”

“Well he wasn’t at the rehearsal so I figured I had until tomorrow to see him. I guess I just kind of freaked out when I saw him here.”

She wrapped her arms around him and gave him firm hug. “I’m sorry. I should’ve made sure you knew.”

He stepped back and shook his head. “I was being stupid. Of course he’d be here.”

Karkat bit his lip, then relayed the story. “He found me freaking the fuck out in the hall like goddamn Nic Cage covered in bees and helped me to calm down.” He stopped for a moment. Even though he had calmed down, seeing Dave had brought up a lot of stuff that Karkat was still working through. Mentally shaking himself, he continued. “We are going to meet up and go somewhere after the dinner to talk. Not that I deserve it.”

“Karkat, stop that nonsense. You made a mistake, but we all have made mistakes before.” She pursed her lips together. “You will call me if you need me.” She paused, her face softening. “Please.”

Karkat patted her arm. Of course she was worried about him on the night before her wedding. “You need to get your rest for the wedding. I will text you so you can make sure I am alright, but hopefully you will be sound asleep by then.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but someone from across the room called her name. She nodded and held up a finger to them.

“I will trust you, Karkat. Will you be all right for the dinner?”

Karkat gave her a smile, more out of affection for her than any confidence he felt. “Of course, Kanaya. Now go, you’ve got people waiting for you.”

She smiled softly back at him, then turned to leave.

Karkat took a deep breath. He would be on his best behavior during dinner for Kanaya. Then. Then he would get to apologize to Dave.


	11. Panic! At the Rehearsal Dinner Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rollercoaster.... of angst. say what?
> 
> Rollercoaster.... yeah (oohh oohh oohh)

More and more people arrived at the dinner until everyone who could come was finally there. The first fifteen minutes or so were spent socializing with people Karkat really didn’t want to socialize with, but did so for Kanaya’s sake. Just thinking about how kind she has been to him filled him with determination to get along with these weird strangers and even weirder extended family members. Frequently, Karkat found himself scanning the room for Dave.

More often than not, Karkat found Dave staring back at him.

His heart hurt.  
He kind of wished he didn’t have it, sometimes.

Eventually it was time for everyone to sit down. Karkat was seated by Kanaya, several seats down and across the table from Dave. Thinking about it, Karkat realized she probably planned that on purpose so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Love swelled in his heart and he felt like he was going to burst. He reached to her side and grasped her hand firmly. She turned and smiled at him questioningly. He smiled and shook his head. She gave him a Look that promised further inquiry. 

When the waiter came around for drinks, he ordered two(he wasn’t anything if not consistent in his terrible habits) and sat back against his seat. He drank and chatted amicably with his neighbors until the food arrived. The chatting lulled for a bit while everyone dug in. After a few minutes, conversations resumed.

Karkat leaned to the side and focused to see if he could hear whatever Dave was saying. He had missed hearing his voice. Happily enough, he could make it out.

“Yeah, I moved back a couple of months ago.”

Karkat’s brain stuttered to a halt. It wanted to stop working completely, but he needed to know what was said next. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear whoever else was talking to Dave and could only hear his responses.

“No, I still have the same job. We worked out an agreement. I can pretty much do the same thing here, I just work off of initial recordings versus having to be there at the time. It makes for the same result anyways.”

Karkat strained his ears, but still couldn’t hear whomever else was talking. Dave looked like he did whenever someone asked him anything too intimate.

“Uh. Got some news. Kinda personal, y’know.”

Karkat could have sworn that Dave had looked over at him, but it happened so quickly that he dismissed it.

He slouched back into his chair, flabbergasted and hurt. Dave had moved back? He had moved back a couple of months ago without himself or any of their friends telling Karkat?  
His earlier warm feelings were gone, replaced with a cold, empty pit in his stomach. He sat through the rest of the meal and a couple of speeches numbly. All he wanted to do now was go home.

\---

Karkat had promised Kanaya that he could handle the dinner, so he waited until most everybody had left in order to run to the bathroom. He scrubbed his face, hard. He should have known better. He was right before. People didn’t actually care about him and he was the world’s biggest idiot for thinking otherwise. He’d go through the wedding tomorrow, make the motions, but when he was done, he was _done_.

A part of Karkat knew he was overreacting, and that he should try talking to his friends before being upset that they lied to him. 

He raked a hand through his hair. Okay. He could get through this without doing anything stupid, he could. Maybe he’d feel better after getting some sleep. Tomorrow he’d call his psychiatrist to set up an appointment for after the wedding and get some sense knocked into him from someone he wasn’t overly emotional about.

For now though, he wanted to wallow. Karkat needed to finish up his goodbyes, then he could go home and get himself together for tomorrow. Karkat stood up straight and exited the bathroom. He went back to their reserved room and hastily bid goodbye to the few people remaining. His conscious appeased, he headed to the exit, but before he could leave a voice stopped him. 

“Goin’ somewhere?”

Karkat turned around. Dave was lounging against the wall by the doors, but had pushed himself up as Karkat passed.

Karkat had to stop himself from visibly shrinking back. He knew what Dave thought of him. He knew he had to explain his apology to Dave, but was _so_ tired of being unloved. Karkat knew that with the way he was feeling right now, he would not be in the best place to move forward. He’d feel better and more optimistic after a full night’s sleep and fresh access to his common sense.

When Karkat didn’t respond, Dave continued, stepping toward Karkat. His face was unreadable. “I thought we were gonna hang out. Continue our conversation from earlier.”

Guilt swarmed Karkat’s body. He felt it in his stomach, his limbs, his heart. 

He tried not to hang his head. “Yeah, okay.” Whatever Dave and everyone else thought of him, he surely deserved it. Dave nodded and beckoned Karkat to follow. He hailed a cab, and gave their old address, Karkat’s current address to the driver. 

“You still live there, right?”

Karkat nodded, feeling more pathetic than ever. Dave’s features softened and he put a hand on Karkat’s knee. It remained there until they arrived. Dave paid the fare and they walked to the building. Karkat unlocked the doors and they rode the elevator. When it reached the correct floor they disembarked, still not saying anything. Karkat unlocked the door to his apartment, feeling suddenly ashamed that he hadn’t changed anything since Dave had left. Dave paused at the threshold for a moment, then kicked off his shoes and went to the couch. He pushed his shades up to his hair and sat down and patted the space beside him. He looked at home there. Like he still lived there and the past five months had all been a bad dream.

Karkat complied and sat next to Dave. He didn’t know why he was blindly following Dave’s commands. He guessed that he was too hurt, too broken to do anything else.

“So, you overheard that I’ve been back in town for a couple months, huh?”

Karkat startled. He must have been pretty obvious. “…yeah.”

Dave put his hand on Karkat’s chin, turning it so that it was facing Dave. “That’s not how I wanted you to find out.”

He sighed. “You’re probably wondering why no one told you.” 

Karkat’s lips pursed together. Of fucking course he did.

Dave winced at Karkat’s expression. “Because I asked them not to.” 

Karkat’s heart stopped. How was it possible to feel even more hurt? He couldn’t really blame Dave asking them after what Karkat did. But all his friends had lied to him for months. They chose Dave over him. And even though he could understand that, an ugly despair filled the hollow pit in Karkat’s stomach. It was getting so hard to fight against it.

Dave took a deep breath. “Before I get into that, wanna know why I moved back?”

Karkat searched Dave’s eyes, finding nothing but sincerity. He nodded.

Dave nodded back. “ A couple months back, I get this call from Rose. Not a big deal, we talk pretty often. But this time she tells me that she had an illuminating conversation with none other than yourself.” Karkat thought back to a couple of months ago, when he had met Rose for coffee to talk about the bachelorette party. Why would that prompt her to call Dave?

Dave continued. “She told me what you said.” He hesitated, then soldiered on. “That you were sorry. That you were wrong but you weren’t expecting forgiveness. And that you’d follow me to California if you could.”

Karkat stared at the table and remembered. Yep, those sure were things that he said. And meant with all of his heart. He still did.

Dave reached forward and touched Karkat’s hand, stroking his thumb along Karkat’s knuckles in a soft, intimate gesture. “Is all of that true?”

Karkat’s chest clenched. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was having a heart attack.

He looked up at Dave, making sure he was meeting Dave’s eyes. “Every single word.”

Dave’s pinched his eyes shut for a moment. When he opened them, they were shining. He gripped Karkat’s hand hard. Dave stared at Karkat like he held the meaning to life itself.

“Do you love me?” 

Karkat felt the floor drop out from underneath him. Choking, he responded with the only words he could.

“I love you. I love you so much. I always have. I…” He stopped and his face scrunched up, too overwhelmed by emotion. Love, regret, and longing warred within him.  
Again, he felt Dave’s hand on his chin, tilting his head up. Karkat opened his eyes to see such a look of hope and yearning on Dave’s face that he stopped breathing.

“Karkat, I could never get you out of my head. You are stuck in there for the rest of my life.”

He sighed. “I could never stop loving you.” He leaned down a pressed a chaste kiss to Karkat’s lips. When he pulled away Karkat automatically chased him, but Dave held him back.

Karkat’s face fell and Dave squeezed his hand to let him know it wasn’t a rejection. “Rose told me that you were going through some other stuff and have been seeing someone to help, and I get that, I do. But you hurt me. You hurt me a lot. It is going to be a lot harder to trust you now.”

Tears sprung to Karkat’s eyes. He was breaking, but he tried to hold on. Dave didn’t need to see that. 

“But, I think. If we actually, like communicate and shit. That if you want to, maybe we could give this another chance?"

A fierce hope swept through Karkat, overriding all his other emotions. He dove at Dave and mashed his face against his, kissing him sloppily, but with all his might.

Dave laughed against his mouth and gripped Karkat’s back like he would never let go.


	12. MAKE UP SEXXXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the chapter title didn’t clue you in, this chapter is 100% terribly written smutty smut and includes the full sex. Skip if it squicks
> 
> on an unrelated note, last night i had a super vivid dream where i was in an episode of Merlin and spent the whole time trying to hook Merlin and Arthur up. It was awesome, though sadly ended before any real resolution.

Their kiss quickly grew deeper, tongues thrusting frantically into each other’s mouths. They shifted to lay down on the couch with Karkat on top of Dave. Moving his mouth to Dave’s neck, he started to unbutton Dave’s shirt. Dave moaned and scrambled to help, moving onto Karkat’s vest and shirt when they were finished with his. Karkat leaned back down, his bare chest sliding against Dave’s as he pushed their mouths together again. Karkat felt Dave rutting hard against him, and couldn’t repress a needy moan. Dave raked his nails down Karkat’s back.

Karkat could hardly wait another second.

He pulled back and admired Dave, his face and chest flushed. He was still wearing his pants, but his legs were splayed invitingly and he stared at Karkat with his lips swollen and parted. 

Karkat growled. “I’m only going to be gone a second, but you better be naked by the time I return. ” Dave made a strangled noise. The sound made heat pulse low in Karkat's belly.  
Karkat practically sprinted to his room to grab lube. He didn’t have any condoms, since before they had both been tested and agreed they didn’t need them. Karkat wasn’t sure anymore about Dave status, and couldn’t blame if he did try to move on. Either way he was resolved to make Dave feel good.

He came back to the living room to see that Dave had followed his instructions and was now lying naked and erect on the couch. Karkat set the lube on the coffee table and though it killed him, he slowly finished undressing, making sure Dave was watching his every move. When he was finished, he climbed over Dave, not yet touching him. Wanting to be certain Dave was listening, Karkat made eye contact and spoke, his voice rough and low. 

“I don’t have any condoms. I haven’t needed any since…”

Dave pulled Karkat down, their bare bodies flush against each other. Dave kissed Karkat with a sweet brush of his lips. “Same here. Turns out you are kind of hard to forget.”

Dave’s words reignited the flame in Karkat’s stomach and he thrust his hips against Dave’s. God, how he had missed this.

Karkat reached under Dave, rubbing his hand’s all over his back and ass. When he neared Dave’s entrance, Karkat stopped and looked at Dave questioningly. Dave, eyes half lidded and oozing desire, nodded. Karkat stopped and reached behind him to grab a pillow. He placed it under Dave’s hips, then grabbed the lube off the table and poured some on his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up.

Reaching under Dave again, he found his hole almost immediately. Karkat cautiously inserted one finger and moved it, watching Dave’s face for discomfort the whole time. When he found none, Karkat pumped his finger, causing Dave to let out a low groan, and moved it inside Dave until he felt comfortable adding another finger. Dave growled in frustration and pushed down on his fingers, and Karkat increased the pace of his pumping, scissoring his fingers until Dave moaned. “Karkat, I need you. Now. _Pleeeaase_.”

Karkat carefully removed his fingers and grabbed the lube. He coated his cock liberally, and knelt with one knee on the couch and one leg on the floor, positioning himself at Dave’s entrance. He looked at Dave’s face, and slowly pushed in. They moaned in tandem and Karkat had to restrain himself from immediately fucking Dave as hard as he could. 

He waited until Dave wiggled underneath him and groaned, dissatisfied and hungry for more. “Move, damn it!”

With Dave’s permission, Karkat pulled out slowly and pushed back in. His fingers dug into Dave’s hips.. Dave gritted his teeth and pushed his hips up, forcing Karkat to move faster. Karkat pinched his eyes shut. The sight of Dave so needy was about to push him over the edge.

Karkat felt a hand grip his and squeeze, hard. Dave’s voice was low and full of emotion. “Open your eyes. I want you to look at me when you fuck me. You need to see what you do to me.”

Karkt opened his eyes and stared at Dave. He was looking at Karkat and was flushed all over, biting his lip in an attempt not to cry out. His dick was hard and dripping from the tip, leaving a trail where it pressed up against Dave’s belly. 

He looked absolutely _wrecked_. 

Karkat tried to keep it slow, to draw it out for Dave’s sake, but gazing into Dave's eyes made him lose his self-restraint. He pounded against Dave with everything he had. Dave moaned again, unable to stop himself. “Karkat, Karkat, oh god I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this, oh god I love you I love you I love you.”

Karkat slowed for a moment, bent forward and met Dave’s mouth in a hot, open mouthed kiss. He reached to grasp Dave’s cock, pumping him in time with his thrusts. Dave keened brokenly, his hands gripping Karkat’s hips hard enough to leave a bruise. Karkat leaned back, keeping his grip on Dave and thrust as hard and as fast as he could. Dave came first, sobbing out Karkat’s name. Karkat thrust once, twice, and followed Dave into the most intense orgasm he could ever remember.

Seeing stars, he came down and pulled himself gently out of Dave. Despite wanting to collapse immediately on top of Dave, he got up, went to the bathroom, and dampened a washrag. He brought it back and softly cleaned Dave off, kissing him on the forehead as he worked. He wiped himself off then tossed the cloth on the floor. He leaned down and gently picked Dave up and carried him to the bed. He laid down next to him, spooning behind him. Dave hummed tiredly. “I love you, Karkat.”

Karkat’s breath caught, and he kissed the back of Dave’s shoulder. “I love you too Dave, so, so much.”

Karkat reached down and pulled the comforter over the both of them, then fell into the deepest and most sound sleep he had in months.


	13. And it's a sin to live so well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slower than normal updating. Real life has been hardcore kicking my ass all over the place the last couple of weeks.
> 
> *Also, can’t believe you have stuck with this since the beginning and commenting and shit. Like, I’m kinda fucked up by it, but in a super good way. Thank you for boosting me along. I know it sounds cliché and kinda dumb, but you all keep me writing when otherwise I would just sit back and not contribute anything. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Every single comment, kudos, bookmark, and hit means the world to me. Ima finish this, just for you.

Karkat woke blearily to the sound of his phone faintly ringing. Wondering why it was so quiet when it was on his bedstand, he wormed his way out of Dave’s grip.

Wait, what. Dave? 

Before free-wheeling down that line of thought, Karkat opened his sleep-crusty eyes to look for his phone. It wasn’t there. He blinked a few times, then realized he left it in his pants, which were in a pile on the floor of his living room.

Simultaneously pleased from the memories of the previous night and dreading the phone call(because who ever called for happy reasons?? Right??? Nobody. That’s who.) Karkat fell face first from the bed, hastily righted himself, and scrambled for the phone.

He cleared his throat. “Hello?”

“Karkat!” Kanaya responded. “I’ve been worried sick about you. You never texted me like you promised. Are you okay?”

He briefly wondered why she was so worried, but then remembered how she found him after he broke up with Dave. He immediately felt nauseous with guilt.

“Ooooh fuck. Shit. Kanaya I’m so sorry. I’m fine. Dave’s fine. Uh, I got a little distracted last night then fell asleep.” 

“Oh, thank goodness. “Kanaya let out a long breath. “I don’t think I could get through today without you.”

Shit, Karkat was dropping the ball all over the place. What time was it? 

Karkat glanced over at the clock. Oh, thank fuck it was 6:30. There was still a couple hours before he was supposed to meet her for breakfast. 

He scrubbed at his face with his free hand. Today was Kanaya’s day and he was resolved to be what she needed him to be without letting his personal shit get in the way.

He sighed, finally responding. “You won’t have to, Kanaya. Listen, I’ll update you after everything has calmed down, but you should know that Dave and I…well we still need to talk, but I think maybe I didn’t ruin things forever. For now though, try to get a little more rest. You’ve got a fuckton to do today. And then after all that nonsense you are gonna marry the woman of your dreams.”

Karkat could hear Kanaya’s smile in her voice. “I’m glad for you, Karkat. And you are right. I will be refreshed and ready to go by the time you arrive. Thank you.”

“Thanks, Kanaya. For everything. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up the phone. Karkat sat in the silence of his living room for a moment. Dave and him really needed to talk. Now was as good as a time as ever.

Karkat stood up and turned to his room to find Dave standing in the hall, watching him. His face was open and a bit lost looking. Before consciously deciding to move, Karkat found himself wrapping his arms around Dave, holding on to him tightly. Dave smooshed his face into Karkat’s shoulder and his arms wound their way around Karkat and squeezed. His fingers dug into Karkat’s back. One or both of them was shaking. Karkat couldn’t tell who.

Dave murmured something, but the sound was too muffled for Karkat to understand.

“Hmm?”

Dave pulled back so he could meet Karkat’s eyes. “I said. You are never leaving me again.”

Karkat’s face crumpled and it was his turn to bury his face in Dave’s neck. After a few deep breaths of breathing in Dave’s scent, Karkat stepped back, grabbed Dave’s hand and led him over to the couch.

“Dave, I want to be more open about all our shit and we definitely need to talk.” He paused, realizing that just because he had time to talk didn’t mean Dave did.

“And if you are able to, you think we could talk now? I mean, I get if you have to go and get ready or something...” Karkat trailed off, staring down at their hands.

Dave squeezed Karkat’s hand. “I’m good for another hour or so. Plus, we should definitely get our shit straightened out before the wedding. Well, as much of it as we can, at least. Like, I guess it’ll be about as straight as John’s love for Nic Cage. So. Not completely straight. And significantly less disturbing. But like, one day our shit will be straight. Once it realizes how terrible Nic Cage is.”

“I get why you used John’s Nic Cage love for this argument, but there really is literally no one that we know that is straighter than John.”

“Dude. So not the point.”

“Fine. So um. Where do you want to start?”

“Um. I. Okay. “ Dave squared his shoulders. “Want to explain to me exactly why you broke up with me in the first place?”

Karkat instantly deflated. “Fuck. Okay. I, fuck, I thought I was doing what was best for you. I mean, clearly that was a fucking laugh since you can make your own decisions, but I freaked out and thought you would be better off without me.” Karkat sat up straighter and gave a lopsided smile. “I don’t regret that you took the job though.”

Dave frowned and pulled back. “We could have talked about it, instead of you dumping me and throwing me out when I was already fucked up.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I went to the park. Sat at that stupid table until Rose somehow fuckin’ knew and came and got me.”

“I know. I followed you to the park.” Karkat paused, overwhelmed for a moment by Dave’s intense gaze. “Even then I knew that kicking you out like that was fucked up. I followed you to make sure nothing happened to you until Rose got there. I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it before and I’m gonna say it again, but I am so fucking sorry, Dave. “ Karkat’s vision blurred, but he willed the tears back.

Dave reached forward and pulled Karkat into a hug. “I know.” He murmured. “I know. And if you promise to never _ever_ do anything like that again, we will move past it.”

A tear leaked down Karkat’s cheek and he tried to turn away to wipe at it, but Dave lightning quick reached out a hand and held Karkat in place. He looked at Karkat expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Karkat swallowed, then responded honestly. “I won’t. I don’t think I could survive it.” 

Dave’s eyes searched Karkat’s, and he nodded, releasing his hold on Karkat and slumped back.

Karkat wanted to as well, but there was still something that was bothering him.

He gathered a couple of scraps of courage and spoke. “Dave? How come you didn’t want me to know that you had moved back?”

Dave winced. “I wasn’t ready yet.” 

He blew out a breath. “And really. Well, fuck. This is stupid. But, I wanted to see if you missed me. Even a fraction of how much I missed you.” Dave scratched the back of his head, embarrassed at his confession. “I followed you to Lakeside a couple times. You always sat at our table. Like..fuck. The only time we ever sat there together was when we met, but I still think of it as our fucking table.” His hand moved to his face, half covering it.

Before Dave could keep talking, Karkat interrupted. ”I do too. Think of it as ours.”

Dave’s features softened for a moment before continuing. “You looked so fuckin’ lost, man. I swear, I almost came up to you and told you right then.”

Karkat tensed and gripped his jeans. He tried to force himself to be calm, but his voice still came out ragged. “Why didn’t you?”

“Karkat. You know you really fucked me up, right?” Karkat flinched, but Dave continued. “Like I said I know you’ve been going through some stuff, but you broke my heart.”

Dave dropped his head. “I..I fuckin’ lost it there for a couple months. First thing I did was take that job and move to California where I could forget you.” Karkat remained silent. He hung his head, but still watched Dave out of the corner of his eye. 

Dave stared at the table. “I drank so much. Did some other stuff too. I tried to take people home, but I could never fuckin’ do anything. Could never…get outta my mind that it wasn’t you.”

Karkat realized that if someone could literally rip their heart out of their chest and bare it to him, that would be what Dave was doing right now.

Karkat thought about it for a moment.  
Karkat didn’t realize how he was still alive.  
How could he ever deserve Dave? After what he did and how he was.

He sighed. Knowing in his core, so deep and compressed that it was virtually a black hole of self-loathing, that he didn’t deserve Dave, that he never could, Karkat still put his hand on Dave’s. 

He needed to make this right, but wasn’t sure he ever would be able to. He decided anyway that he would try for as long as he was alive. Karkat reached an arm behind Dave and pulled him close. They stayed there until Karkat’s alarm went off, signaling that they both needed to get ready.

Dave gathered his things, then headed for the door. Karkat followed behind, wishing Dave didn’t need to leave. 

Dave faced Karkat and bumped Karkat’s forehead with his own. “Hey. I’ll see you later today, yeah?”

Karkat tilted his face until he was kissing Dave. Their lips brushed softly before separating. “Yeah.”

Dave smiled at Karkat before turning and leaving. Karkat stood alone in his foyer for a moment, then went back to his bedroom and got ready for the day ahead.


	14. Tonight I’m Gonna Have Myself a Real Good Time

After Dave left, Karkat gathered all his things that he would need for the day and then left to pick up breakfast for Kanaya and himself. He was going to meet her at her house to get ready. As far as Karkat knew, Rose was going to be getting ready elsewhere so they didn’t need to worry about her seeing Kanaya before the wedding. 

Karkat knocked on her door with his elbow. He waited for a minute, but when Kanaya didn’t answer he knocked again. He was again met with silence. Starting to worry, he shifted around the food in his arms, grabbed the door handle, which was thankfully unlocked, and he went inside. 

“Kanaya!” Karkat hollered. “I’m here! I come bearing gifts of caffeine and sustenance.”

A quiet “I’m in here” came from down the hallway. Karkat quickly dropped the food off in the kitchen then made his way toward the voice. 

Karkat found Kanaya sitting on the lid of the toilet, head hanging, hair frizzy and unkempt, shoulders slumped, and breathing shallowly. Karkat immediately sank to his knees in front of her and took both of her hands in his. “Kanaya, I’m here. Breathe in. One, two, three, four. Breathe out, one, two, three, four.” Karkat knew if nothing else, the calm, steady repetition gave something for Kanaya to focus on. He sat with with her for several minutes until her breathing returned to normal.

They sat quietly for a few moments. Karkat’s knees protested kneeling on the tile floor, but he wasn’t going to move until he was assured that she was okay. “Kanaya, what the everlasting chafing fuck happened?”

She chuckled ruefully. “The blow dryer wouldn’t work. I tried everything, but it wouldn’t work. I know it’s stupid, but…today needs to be perfect. _I_ need to be perfect.”

Karkat huffed. “You’re right, that is stupid.”

Kanaya sat back, startled that he had agreed with her. 

He rolled his eyes. “Calm your tits, not about that.”

Kanaya gave a small smile and made to stand up.

Karkat held out his hand to stop her. “Keep your ass seated, there is a few things you need to hear. First, today doesn’t need to be perfect, you are not perfect, Rose is not perfect, _nobody_ is fucking perfect! I know we all make a big deal about how fucking flawless you are, and compared to us you basically are, but we do actually know that you aren’t lesbian Jesus. Rose loves you, we all love you just the way you are. Lastly.” He took a breath, trying to gather his courage. “I’ll help you do your hair.”

Kanaya, who had been smiling sweetly at his lecture, rose her eyebrows so high he thought they were going to fall off her face. “You are going to do what?”

Karkat crossed his arms. “Shut up, I’ll just do what you tell me to do. It’ll be fine.”

She smirked and gestured to her hair, which looked strikingly similar to his own. “Well, at least it can’t get any worse.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but fuck if she didn’t have an excellent point. She nudged him out of the way and proceeded to set out and plug in everything that they would need. While she was busy, Karkat went back to the kitchen to reheat their food. 

When he was done, Karkat went into the bathroom and ushered Kanaya into the kitchen to eat breakfast. Karkat filled Kanaya in on the rest of the evening with Dave(lurid details excluded) while they ate.

“I am glad to hear that you are working things out. You both seem happier when the other is near. And I know that you two are going to communicate better this time around, aren’t you?” Kanaya said, vaguely threatening. 

Karkat elbowed her gently. “Duh. And even if we don’t, you’ll be there to kick both our asses, right?”

“Indubitably. But I know I won’t have to.”

Karkat smiled to himself. He was glad that there was someone watching out for them, even if he didn’t plan on making the same mistakes twice.

They finished breakfast and headed for the bathroom. Kanaya had procured a stool and sat on it. Karkat got started with Kanaya’s hair; straightening, curling, and spraying where he was told to straighten, curl, and spray. When he finished, Kanaya’s hair…was not a complete disaster. Kanaya stood up and patted Karkat’s head, then adjusted a few pieces. 

With those few pieces, her hair turned from not a complete disaster to an artfully tousled masterpiece. Karkat shook his head. He had no idea how she had managed to do that. 

Kanaya turned to Karkat and placed her hands on his shoulders. “It’s your turn.”

Karkat submitted himself to her ministrations and not long later, she was finished. His hair didn’t look much different, just…better. A lot better. The girl was basically magic.

Kanaya applied her makeup, and since Karkat couldn’t help with that, he went to their living room and turned on the Food Network. He was starting on his second episode of the Pioneer Woman when Kanaya walked into the living room. Karkat stood and turned around when she came in.

Kanaya wore a white fitted suit that contrasted beautifully with her caramel skin. The suit was such that it didn’t need a shirt under it, but the jacket wasn’t too low cut. Just enough to remind everyone that Kanaya was ridiculously fucking stylish. Kanaya had once confessed to Karkat that Rose liked it(and she meant _liked_ it) when Kanaya wore suits, so Karkat knew Rose would be flipping her shit when she saw Kanaya. Kanaya looked both classy as fuck and actually kind of sexy. Karkat shuddered and banished the latter thought to the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind.

Kanaya stood awkwardly the whole time, waiting for Karkat to vocalize his assessment. 

He cleared his throat. “You clean up nice.” was all he could manage for his best friend.

Kanaya beamed as if he told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She walked over to him and kissed the top of his head. He carefully wrapped one arm around her back, trying to make sure that he wouldn’t mess up the fabric. She huffed and pulled Karkat in for a real hug, squeezing him like he was an orange and she was dying for some juice.

“I know the past few months have been rough for you, Karkat. But I want you to know that I appreciate how much you’ve done for me. And I don’t mean just today.”

Karkat shrugged and stared at the floor. “I didn’t do much, not really.”

“Oh hush. You have done plenty and you know it.” She pulled back and brushed some imaginary lint off of Karkat’s shoulders. “Now its time for you to get ready. Did you make sure to iron your suit?”

Karkat bit down a smirk. Kanaya was absolutely a mom friend. “Yes, and I polished my shoes like you said.”

She nodded briskly and shoved him down the hallway. “Good. Now get dressed. I don’t want to be late to my own wedding.” 

Karkat stumbled into the bedroom and shut the door. He dressed carefully in the gray three piece suit that Kanaya had picked out for him. The only other color in the suit was from a deep red waistcoat. Karkat stood back and looked in the mirror. He had to admit that yet again, Kanaya had done a great job on him. He opened the door and went to the living room. Kanaya turned and looked at him. She smiled widely. 

“You clean up pretty nicely yourself, Karkat.”

He shrugged, but smiled. “Thanks. Do we need to go yet?”

“I just got off the phone with Porrim. She will be here to pick us up in about 15 minutes.”

Karkat nodded. “Is there anything else you need to do before we go?”

Kanaya looked around and shook her head. “I don’t believe so. Everything we need for after the wedding should already be at the hotel with Rose.”

“Anything you want to do with your last few quiet minutes as an unmarried woman?”

Kanaya rose an innocent eyebrow. “Besides the strippers that are on their way?”

Karkat choked on his spit. “What?”

Kanaya smirked. “Kidding. I would like nothing better than to sit here with you and watch the last ten minutes of this episode of Cupcake Wars.”

Karkat snorted. “Fine. My bets on those brothers. That tiramisu cupcake looks like the shit.”

“If you are saying that it looks like shit, then I agree.”

Karkat fake gasped. “My god, Kanaya. The sass is strong with you today.”

She shrugged. “I’m feeling much more myself since you arrived.”

Karkat bumped shoulders with her affectionately, and they waited companionably for Kanaya’s older sister to pick them up for the wedding.

\---

They arrived at the gardens about a half hour before the wedding was to start. A few guests were already seated, playing with their phones or reading the program. Karkat wandered around for a bit before finally taking up his post by the gazebo where the ceremony would take place. Only the women were going to walk down the aisle, so Karkat didn’t have much he actually needed to do. Terezi and Nepeta waved at him when they came in, and so did John and Jade. Karkat was distracted from greeting anyone else when Dave took up his spot on Rose’s side of the aisle.

“Sup.” Dave nodded.

“Hey.” Karkat replied.

They both stood there silently, yet somehow the awkwardness was deafening.

Karkat pulled out his phone and opened up Pokemon Go. He perked up immediately when he saw what Pokemon was in range.

Dave leaned over to look at Karkat's phone.

Karkat ignored him and swiped at his phone. Dave huffed. “Dude, don’t you have at least 15 Jynx?”

“It’s not enough. I want to take over the capital with my Jynx army.” Karkat wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t going to have his phone out during the actual ceremony. With one last swipe he caught the Jynx, but he tilted his phone so Dave would think he was still playing.

Dave sidled closer to Karkat. “Karkat, seriously. Put your phone away. Why’d you even check it now? They will murder you in front of everyone and still get away with it. It wouldn’t even go to trial. The judge would be all “dude was playing pokemon go at your wedding? For a fuckin’ Jynx? And he was the fuckin’ man of honor?? Dude. The not-est of guiltiest ever. That’s fuckin’ self defense if I ever saw it.” Dave paused his rambling whispers. “And then he’ll buy them shots.”

Karkat kept one eye on the aisle(he didn’t actually want to fuck anything up for Kanaya, despite his current actions) and one eye on his phone, mostly to mess with Dave. “That’s not how the legal system works.”

“omfg put your stupid phone away. How have you not even caught it yet?”

“stfu, shes like, 2300CP. She’s killing my ball stash. She’s the strongest Jynx of all. She will be mine.”

“Okay, not even dwelling on how creepy that comment was, I’m seriously gonna confiscate your phone if you don’t put it away rn.”

Karkat hid his grin, giddy from bantering with Dave. Outwardly, he scoffed. “I’d like to see you try.”

Just as Dave reached for Karkat’s phone, the wedding music started to play. Karkat slid his phone into his pocket, and Dave hastily straightened, pretending like he wasn’t two seconds away from tackling Karkat.

The guests stood and watched as Roxy escorted Rose down the aisle. Roxy was beaming in a vibrant pink one-shoulder dress, and Rose was smiling demurely in a gorgeous wedding gown that Kanaya had made. It had a sweetheart neckline, cap sleeves, and intricate lavender embroidery. 

Dave shifted across the aisle back to Rose’s side in what he probably thought was a subtle manner. Karkat caught Rose arching an eyebrow at Dave as she made her way down the aisle.

Karkat started to snort but then tried to abort the snort and turn it into a cough. Instead, he caught the eyebrow himself.

Rose and Roxy made their way to the alter. When they arrived, Roxy kissed Rose on the forehead before sitting down on Rose’s side of the chairs. Karkat saw Rose take Dave’s hand and squeeze it.

The guests remained standing as Kanaya appeared. Kanaya’s older sister Porrim walked her down the aisle. Karkat was momentarily distracted from his radiant best friend by Porrim’s frankly intimidating cleavage. It really was hard not to look at. Like, Porrim’s boobs were a refrigerator door and Karkat’s eyes were particularly strong magnets from a vacation to the Caribbean. Only Kanaya’s beatific smile tore his gaze away. Somehow, she looked even more perfect than before. Maybe it was because she was looking at her bride. Her eyes had locked on to Rose, and Rose’s smile had grown and her eyes shone as she stared at Kanaya. They gazed at each other even after Kanaya had taken her place at the altar, only tearing their eyes away after the officiator started to speak.

Karkat looked at Dave, who was watching the pair with a small, but genuine smile on his face. Karkat felt like the Grinch after Christmas had been saved. It couldn’t possibly be healthy to have a heart grow that much in a short amount of time, but here Karkat was, with a heart that was so full of emotion that the flesh itself had to of expanded to encompass it.

The rest of the ceremony was short and beautiful. Rose and Kanaya’s vows to each other left not a single dry eye and almost before anyone could process, it was time for the reception. It was in a nearby area of the gardens and had a decorated shelter with tables and seating. Next to it was a paved area with a stage and a band. There were fairy lights decorating the shelter and the surrounding trees, and the whole area looked like something from a dream. Even knowing that this is how it was going to be set up, the romcom loving portion of Karkat’s brain swooned.

Karkat stood admiring the scene until he heard the click of a photo being taken. He turned to see Dave holding his phone and staring at Karkat with a soft look on his face.

“Hey.” Dave murmured.

“Hey.” Karkat replied, eloquently.

Dave shuffled on his feet a bit. “You, uh, catch that Jynx?”

Karkat let out a snort. “Pfft, I had caught that like five seconds after I saw it.”

Dave frowned. “So what were you doing with your phone?”

Karkat rose an eyebrow and smirked. “Fucking with you.”

Dave gasped, fake offended. “How rude.”

Karkat’s earlier sense of giddiness had returned along with Dave and he felt lighter than he had in months. “Oh dear, my sweet petunia. How shall I ever apologize?”

Dave gave a feral grin and stepped closer to Karkat. “I can think of a few different ways.”

Aaand just like that, Karkat had an erection.

Karkat let out a breath and stepped toward Dave, whose lips parted and body leaned toward Karkat’s like he was helpless to stop the pull. But before their lips could meet, a delicate cough from behind them interrupted.

Rose held a hand up to cover her smile. “I’m sorry to intrude, but it is time for guests to find their seats.”

Dave blew out a breath. “Seriously Rose, you couldn’t have waited just one minute?”

Her eyebrow lifted to its seemingly natural state. “Would that have been enough time for you to finish?”

Karkat spluttered out a laugh, grateful the mood(and his boner) were gone. Rose smiled smugly while Dave tried to backpedal. Karkat reached out to grab Dave’s hand, his heart-rate spiking as his did so. “Come on you human disaster, let’s go sit down. We can finish later.” He lowered his voice and squeezed Dave’s hand. “Hopefully it’ll take more than just a minute.”

Dave reddened and followed behind Karkat wordlessly.

Some emcee person that Dave had apparently recommended announced the dinner order and kept everyone entertained while they were waiting. After everyone had been served, music played until it was time for speeches. Both Dave and Karkat had one planned out. Dave went to the emcee and nabbed the microphone and brought it back to their table. 

Dave cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone.

“Good evening, folks. I hope everyone enjoyed the wedding and the fine feasting going on here right now. Karkat and I, as the most venerable men of honor, each have a few words we would like to share with you.” Dave continued to speak, but Karkat zoned out, staring at his lips. God, he was such an idiot to have given Dave up. He couldn’t wait until those lips were wrapped around his…

“Karkat!” Karkat started and sat up. Dave was holding his glass, apparently waiting for Karkat to participate before finishing his toast. “To Rose and Kanaya, may your lives be half as awesome as I am.” He clinked his glass against Karkat’s, then Rose’s. She was teary eyed and smiling even as she shook her head. Damn, maybe Karkat should have listened to the rest of Dave’s speech.

Dave held out the microphone to Karkat. Karkat steeled himself, and took it. Karkat, being Karkat, just nervously plowed right into his speech.

“I was there when Kanaya met Rose. It was several years ago, back in college. Kanaya and I were studying in the library when out of nowhere, and I mean literally nowhere, this creepy goth chick comes up to our table and starts hitting on Kanaya like there is no tomorrow. Kanaya of course, couldn’t tell that Rose liked her until Rose actually took her on a date and kissed her, but I knew from the moment they saw each other that this was it for them.” Karkat paused, trying to swallow down the sudden emotion the memory had evoked. 

“Kanaya is the best of us. She sees the beauty in all our fu….messed up lives and pulls us through. She’s saved me so many times I can’t even begin to count. It’s hard for me to believe that anyone could deserve her, but Rose, dammit, I’ve never seen anyone make Kanaya as happy as you do. I can’t imagine there is a universe where you two did not find each other. I know you will take care of each other and live the rest of your lives as sickeningly in love as you are right now.”

Karkat held up his glass. “To Kanaya and Rose. We love you.” He clinked his glass with his neighbors and the rest of the guests followed suit. Karkat sat back down and Kanaya grasped him in a teary hug.

“I love you too, Karkat.”

He reveled in her affection for a moment before gently pushing her away. “I know, I know.”

Karkat looked over at Dave, who was watching Karkat with a stunned expression. Karkat sat down and gave Dave a questioning look. “What is it?”

Dave leaned over and kissed Karkat on the cheek. Karkat blushed. “Sometimes, you just say the exact right things.”

Before Karkat could reply, the emcee introduced the live band. It was some classy band that Rose and Kanaya had seen before and loved. Rose and Kanaya’s first dance was to a song called “Lilith in Starlight” that apparently was composed especially for them. It certainly wasn’t a traditional wedding dance, but Karkat thought that it suited them. He also thought that it sounded vaguely familiar, that it tickled some forgotten section of his memory, but he was damned if he could remember what it was.

Shaking off the feeling, Karkat saw Dave engaged in conversation with one of his neighbors and decided that it was time to get drunk and have fun with his friends.  
He made his way to the open bar(bless these ladies), double-fisted some drinks, and made his way to where most of his friends were sitting.

Nepeta saw him first and nudged Terezi, who turned and yelled over at him. “Karkles! Come sit with us!” 

Karkat took a couple of fortifying gulps, and sat down in an open seat next to Terezi. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him. “I’ve missed you Karkat! We haven’t hung out at all since the Bachelorette party!”

He knew. Ugh he was a terrible friend. 

“Yeah, fuck, sorry.”

She whacked his arm, as if reading the downward spiral in his mind. “Just hang out with me now, and we’re cool.”

Karkat opened his mouth to respond when he was interrupted. “Aww, I thought you said I was the coolest, Rezi.”

Terezi turned to Dave and gave him her best shark grin. “Well hey there coolkid! Karkat here was just promising that he is going to stick around and hang out with best friends tonight, wasn’t he?”

Dave nodded before Karkat could respond. “Fuck yeah. I bet he even promised to dance tonight, didn’t he?”

Terezi nodded so hard Karkat thought her head would fly off and hit an innocent bystander in the mouth. “Absolutely. I’m sure that was the next thing he was going to say, wasn’t it Karkat?”

Finally, they let him speak. He was briefly conflicted between giving into his embarrassment or answering like a dick. Guess which one won? “Fuck both of you with an original copy of The Sims. There were two cds in that pack so have fun getting fucked by both.” He paused. “The installation cd has first dibs.”

Dave and Terezi stopped for a moment, then burst out laughing. Dave spoke first. “I fucking missed you so much, man."

Instead of answering, Karkat drank. He polished off the first drink(yes, they were both long islands, sofuckingwhat that he wasn’t paying for them) and started in on the second. Dave's words, while kind, brought Karkat down. His memories of both how terrible things were without Dave and the fact that everyone else lied to him ripped at his heart, but he pushed them back, mostly successfully.

As if sensing the lapse in Karkat’s mental fortitude, Dave kept talking. “So, how’ve things been with you, Rezi? We haven’t seen each other in forever.” Dave placed emphasis on the last part as if to show Karkat that even though people knew he was back, they weren’t actively doing anything together without Karkat either.

Now was not the time to think about it. Karkat gulped more of his second drink but he saw Dave cringe slightly at the edge of his vision. Karkat set the rest of his drink down. No need to make things worse by getting stupidly inebriated. He let Terezi finish answering, then decided it was time for a change in topic. 

“So Terezi, how’s Equius been doing with your and Nepeta’s relationship?”

Her countenance immediately perked up. “Really great, actually! He’s finally realized that Nepeta is happy and that makes him happy. So of course, I am happy!”

Dave threw in stoically, “That’s a lot of happy.”

Karkat snorted. Terezi smacked Dave’s arm and continued as if without interruption. “But yeah, everything has been working out really well.” She bit her lip and Karkat just knew she was going to comment on him and Dave.

He interrupted before she could get a word in. “I’m glad to hear it. Um, where are the restrooms?”

Dave pointed toward a nearby building. “Over there. Need me to show you?”

Karkat quickly shook his head. “No.”

He paused, maybe that was rude. He pointed to his drink. “Make sure Terezi doesn’t steal my drink.”

Dave rose an eyebrow and nodded. Terezi stuck her tongue out at him. Karkat turned and headed for the bathroom, grateful that this was a socially acceptable excuse to get a moment away to himself. It was just a bonus that he realized that he actually did need to use the restroom.

He was flushing when he heard the door open behind him. He ignored it and went to wash his hands when in the mirror saw Dave standing behind him. He jumped and swore.

“Fuck, Dave! What are you doing?”

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed a little off.”

Karkat shrugged. “Just a lot of shit I don’t want to talk about right now.”

He turned around to face Dave, who was holding his drink. 

“Gross, you fucking brought my drink into the bathroom?”

Dave looked at Karkat’s drink and held it out to him. “You said not to let Terezi steal it.”

Karkat rolled his eyes and grabbed the drink, promptly dumping it down the sink. “I kind of meant for you to stay there and watch it. Bringing it to the bathroom is as disgusting as licking the goddamn floor.”

Dave persevered with his point. “So you’re good? Not like, fucked up or anything?”

Karkat was fucked up, but it wasn’t like it was going to change anytime soon, and he was getting help. So he decided to lie. He assured himself it was only a temporary lie.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks for checking on me though.”

Dave stepped forward and took Karkat’s free hand. “I wanna do things right this time. I don’t want to fuck up again.”

Karkat melted. Just like that, he really was okay again. At least for the moment. “I do to. We both fucked up, though I definitely did more than you. I promise to tell you if all my stuff gets to be a problem.” He took a step forward and pressed his forehead against Dave’s. “I promise to _never_ let things get that bad again. I still love you. So much.” Karkat felt Dave relax against him. They held each other for a long moment, but eventually Karkat pulled back. 

Karkat rose an eyebrow. “You owe me a drink, a dance, and some seriously hot sex.” He held out his hand. “You ready to pay up?”

Dave grinned with all his teeth and grabbed Karkat’s hand. “You better fucking believe it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who was listening to Vol. 10 while writing this! And also feeling really nostalgic and sad about this stupid fucking comic and the fact that its over :(
> 
> \+ alright so I know that Kanaya always wears skirts/dresses, but consider this. Kanaya would be suuuuper fuckin hot in a suit. Like, I can’t get the picture outta my mind. Ugh #dreamgirl 
> 
> Anyway, only the epilogue left! Thanks for stickin with this fic! <3


	15. And The Years Start Comin’ And They Don’t Stop Comin’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, I think its finally time to reread the comic and throw myself into a giant pit of despair. Also if you have any prompts that you think I could not totally fuck up, throw em my way!

“Omg Karkat, Ellie just had THE biggest blowout. Like holy shit. Holy shit, there’s shit running up all over her back.” He paused and lifted their child up so Karkat could see.

“This shit defies gravity. Karkat I’m sorry to tell you, but we have to sell our daughter to the circus. With magic weightless shit, she’d make millions as a side-show attraction.” 

Dave set her back on the changing pad in their living room and started to clean her up. She was still small enough that she didn’t roll all over the place. “You know what, scratch selling her. We could make our own circus. Come one, come all to see the baby whose poop defies earthly limitations. This is a once in a lifetime event, make sure you see before she starts eating real food and her poop solidifies, firmly anchoring it to this worldly plane.”

Karkat was in the kitchen cutting up some vegetables to stir fry, but paused and rolled his eyes. “You are full of shit.”

“No, I just got done telling you. Our baby is.”

“Oh dear lord, where do I even start.”

Dave pursed his lips. “How ‘bout you start by tossing me that diaper rash cream? This massive amount of rancid baby diarrhea did not do a kindness on Ellie’s bottom.” He leaned down and kissed their daughter on the top of her head.

“Aww, poor girl.” Dave murmured and kissed her head again.

Karkat ducked his head and grinned, then wiped his hands, grabbed the tube, and walked over to his husband and daughter. 

While they were still in the process of adopting Ellie, Karkat had admitted his fears of fucking everything up and not being a good enough person to parent this tiny human to his psychiatrist. They had talked it through, and while Karkat still felt that fear of failure along with a million others, his love for Dave and Ellie reminded him to keep going, to keep trying. 

Karkat handed Dave the cream, kissed Ellie on the forehead, then wrapped his arms around Dave for a brief hug before going back to the kitchen.

Karkat never thought that life could be this way. That a sense of purpose would fill him so completely, that he could work through his problems and have this. Have Dave and Ellie.   
Dave finished changing Ellie and took her to the bathroom with him to wash his hands. Karkat finished chopping the vegetables and tossed them in the pan with some oil to stir fry. The evening passed in a similarly domestic fashion as the evenings before it had and after would continue to do so.

Karkat had eventually worked his way to the Principal’s position, and he rocked every second of it. Dave rose quickly in the music industry, but the pair never let it get between them again. Ellie soon gained a cousin thanks to Aunt Rose and Aunt Kanaya, and they both grew up in ridiculously loving households Karkat was especially thrilled when Ellie eventually became best friends with Terezi’s and Nepeta’s son, Zach. 

They were a busy and loving family, surrounded by friends and living satisfying, productive lives. 

And they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I love you all.


End file.
